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THINGS HAVE CHANGED:

Since I am no longer a professor in the classroom, this blog is changing focus. (I may at some future date change platforms, too, but not yet). I am now (as of May 2019) playing around with the idea of using this blog as a place to talk about the struggles of writing creatively. Those of you who have been following (or dipping in periodically) know that I've already been doing a little of that, but now the change is official. I don't write every day--yet--so I won't post to the blog every day--yet. But please do check in from time to time, if you're interested in this new phase in my life.


Hi! And you are...?

I am interested to see the fluctuation in my readers--but I don't know who is reading the blog, how you found it, and why you find it interesting. I'd love to hear from you! Please feel free to use the "comment" box at the end of any particular post to let me know what brought you to this page--and what keeps you coming back for more (if you do).





Monday, July 31, 2017

The search for clarity

OK, so here's what I know.

My syllabi are overwhelming. Not only are they incredibly long and incredibly detailed, they contain complete (and detailed) schedules of assignments, which can be confusing--especially when multiple things are due on the same day.

Trying to figure out just the visuals--the design on the page--of the assignment schedule for the 101s is turning out to be daunting (and, yes, it makes the syllabus even longer).

Students need more hand-holding than I like to admit. I really do need to give them some thematic material to look for in the SF class, for each of the readings.

I have a hard time setting out thematic ideas in any simple way. I have a hard time even figuring out good questions to pose in order to lead the students in their search for evidence (and meaning) in the texts.

I should reread the books I've assigned. All of them, though the Atwoods and (of course) the Le Guin I've read countless times and know pretty damned well. But still: I should reread--and probably before the semester starts.

I can feel the online Nature in Lit breathing down my neck. Even though it won't be offered until spring, I know (and keep saying in this blog) how important it is to have as much in place as possible before fall starts, or I'll really be fucked come January 2018.

The 101s are way, way, way more complicated than the SF class. Not only are there lots of smaller readings and the multiple steps of essay writing and revision (which, side note, I still haven't begun to re-evaluate), but I have to reconstruct a lot of the online materials (discussion boards, Turnitin assignments)--and just keeping track of what's been done and what still needs doing is challenging.

I am hitting walls much more quickly than I like--largely, as I mentioned yesterday, because I'm not just fiddling with changing dates or making similar small changes to existing handouts; I'm doing the big conceptual work.

Even figuring out the visuals turns out to be a matter of conceptualizing--and trying to think like a student: what can be missed, or misunderstood, and what can be done to prevent the typical student from missing important information (like what has to be turned in on any given date)?

It is too early to obsess over enrollment numbers (though it's still weird to see that the early classes are generally full and the mid- to late-day classes are pretty empty). Yes, there is a full section of 101 at the G hour that is currently unassigned--but my T hour section may yet get enough students in it to run, so I don't have to reconstruct my schedule. Yet.

So, with all those givens, I find myself in desperate need of at least a break (though a "break" threatens to turn into "no more work for today," especially given the hour)--but also frantic and anxious, wanting to feel like I have a lot more clarity on all levels and yet knowing that there are times when stepping back and letting things simmer unattended for a while is the right thing to do.

On the "good news" front, I did catch a moderately embarrassing error in the SF syllabus, and a colleague alerted us all to an error in the boilerplate, so I made both those changes, uploaded the corrected syllabus, and printed new copies of the fixed pages. I also some work done on the 101s. Some is better than none. And I heard from the bookstore manager, and the special edition of the style guide is available, so if it's still not in the post office, I can swing past campus on the way to the beach tomorrow to pick up a copy (or two).

That said, I am going to at least take a break now. (We'll see if I get back to work after the "break.") I'm going to go to the Post Office (file under "hope springs eternal") and to pick up some good, fluffy beach reading that has come in to the town library via inter-library loan. If I don't get back to work after those little errands (and a few others in the life-maintenance department), I know everything will be bubbling in the back of my brain while I'm on the beach tomorrow. (And how's that for alliterative?)

Tomorrow is August 1. Jings, crivens, and help me Bob. (And thank you to Kate Atkinson for handing along that now antiquated Scottish expletive. See? Summer fluff reading can actually come in useful.)

Sunday, July 30, 2017

Revisions of revisions of revisions

So, I did yet more reworking of the SF syllabus and the first essay assignment today, but I finally have them in good enough shape that I've printed them out and uploaded them to Blackboard. I didn't change the assignment schedule again (thank God), but I reworked a lot of the rules and regulations on both handouts. So, there's that.

Thinking about what I want to focus on tomorrow, there are two options. One is that I can create my copy of the syllabus, which simplifies what I need to remember to collect on each day--and reminds me what handouts I need to have ready to distribute by specific dates. I don't usually do that until I've finished everything else, but I need to look very carefully at what handouts I'm going to need--for the SF and the 101s--and make sure I have the most pressing ones ready to go. (I also need to contact Printing and Publications to find out whether I've missed my chance to have them do the copying I'll need for the first day of classes. We're supposed to send out "big" jobs to them, which is only feasible if one has the job ready to be copied in time--and knows how many copies to get, which I don't yet.)

The other option is to rethink the second and third essay assignments for SF. In the past, I haven't had any research requirement--and the official "Goals and Outcomes" are open enough to interpretation that I don't really have to have one. But I spent some time today finding sources on the first four books, so I could do what I've done in the past: provide critical material for essay 2, then make the students find it on their own for essay 3. It's good practice for the students, and this semester, there is the advantage of all my materials on Left Hand of Darkness, so students can use all the work I've already done to locate sources and don't have to just flounder around on the databases.

I'm still thinking about that. There are two main advantages to dropping the research requirement (even with all the help from me): one, it helps reduce the students' urge to plagiarize, and two, it gives them one less hurdle to get over. Of course, I can also make the use of critical material "recommended but not required"--and only about two students, if that, will use it, even if I provide it (but especially if I don't).

Well, hmmm. Thinking, thinking.

I'm also trying to figure out what to do about that wretched handbook for the 101s. I'm beginning to suspect that the Post Office has done their usual excellent job of fucking things up and put the delivery slip in someone else's box--which I know has happened before (and once, the person who got the delivery slip even picked up the package addressed to me--and never tried to rectify the mistake, so I never got my package). Either that or the publishers sent it by burro. I think I'm going to find out if the campus bookstore has it in stock and just buy a damned copy. If the one the publisher sent shows up, perfect: I'll have two. If not, I'll buy another later (so I have one at the office and one at home). In fact, I may buy two later, so I can donate one to the Library, in order to ensure that one is on reserve for the students who can't buy the book (or can't buy it on time).

Which reminds me: I never heard back from the circulations manager of the Library about putting another book on reserve for my classes. I need to give him a nudge soon--or contact one of my "friends" in the Library to ask for a little help.

See? Nothing is easy. Even the simplest thing turns into massive complication once it's in my hands....

I just took a look through the folder for the last time I taught SF, and apart from whatever work I need to do on the essay assignments (which could be extensive, especially for the final essay--though that will be based on when I taught the novel in 102), there really isn't a whole lot more that I need to futz with for this fall. Most of the handouts are generic, and for many of them, I already have quite a few copies already in hand. So I may have to turn my attention to the 101s, even without knowing the assignment schedule, and at least start working out my own sense of the process from preliminary version to final version of essays (conferences or no? how much can we do in class? how long do I need to mark things? that sort of conceptualizing). Cue the anxiety waves....

But tomorrow is tomorrow. I'm finished with work-work today (though I  may do some life-maintenance work). Tomorrow: we'll see, but I hope it's a productive day. Tuesday: no work, because I'll be on the beach with a friend. (It is still summer, dammit, even though I feel the semester rushing my direction.) And so on and so forth. If I work, you'll hear about it. And thanks for checking in.

Friday, July 28, 2017

7,000 revisions...

If my students would revise their essays even a quarter as much as I revise all the fucking handouts, their essays would be infinitely better. I have gone through the syllabus I don't know how many times, and I still am finding things I need to add/change/clarify. That includes having reworked the timing for the second essay and the readings several times over. I still may be rushing them through The Left Hand of Darkness--or creating a collision between their reading the beginning of the novel and writing their second essays (both of which are going to happen over the Thanksgiving break)--but I think there's at least a marginally better chance that they'll be able to handle the reading of the two Atwood novels and still have time to get through Left Hand.

Maybe. The one problem I've created for myself is that I won't have much time in which to grade their second essays and get them back to them in time for revisions--but I can also bump the revision deadline later if I have to--and I may do that before I even consider the assignment schedule "final." Of course, the schedule is never "final" until after the semester is finished: there is always the possibility that I may shift things around--or that an act of God may throw everything into a cocked hat--but at least I have a solid framework in place from which I can deviate as needed. Without that framework in place before the term starts, I'd be lost by the second week of classes: I'd completely lose track of what we've done, what I want to do, and how much time there is. (And that's even apart from the whole "I don't know how long anything takes" problem.)

I also reworked several handouts that I thought I'd already sufficiently reworked--but as I made changes to the syllabus, I kept thinking, "Oh, I should make sure that piece of information is also on this handout" or "Oh, I think I can cover that information this way, not that way" or ... well, whatever occurs to me in the moment as a great idea. (Often, on further reflection, I realize the "great ideas" were actually duds, but such is life in general, I reckon.)

One question in my mind at the moment is whether it makes sense to take any work on the train to the City with me tomorrow: will I actually be able to concentrate and get anything done? Or am I better off really taking the day off, allowing things to simmer in the background for a while, and then dive in again on Sunday? My hunch is the latter, but we'll see how I feel on the morrow.

Speaking of amending plans on the day: I didn't quite get up with the alarm, but I didn't sleep as late as has been the case recently. Knowing the alarm was going to go off, I was waking up checking the time starting at about 6:30 a.m. (and yes, it did occur to me--briefly--that I could go ahead and get up at that point, but then my "it's summer, dammit!" brain kicked in, and I rolled over and dozed some more). I'm actually surprised I did as much as I did, given how little time I've had to work today.

And now I have to pick stacks of stuff up off the floor so the house cleaner has a clear field to vacuum and pack up my pack for my Friday afternoon rituals, including a riding lesson, the first in a over a month. That'll make for some interesting muscle responses if I make it to yoga class tomorrow...

Well, onward and awkward, as my buddy Jane and I used to say. I get to be a student for the next about 36 hours, which will make a nice shift in the brain focus.

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Super-fast post

I have to leave the house in just a few minutes to meet a colleague for dinner and a movie (OMG, and actual social life!), but I wanted to record the progress I made today--and despite sleeping unduly late, and therefore getting a late start on the day, I did make progress.

I think I have the syllabus for SF pretty well nailed down. I am concerned that I am rushing them through the two Atwood novels--and I may talk to the head of the bookstore about ditching one of them (which would also mean deciding which one--but students have managed in the past, and I'm giving them a fair amount of time for The Left Hand of Darkness, which is good.... As I say, my struggle is never deciding what to assign; it's deciding what not to assign.

But at least there is some structure to the assignment schedule, and I think I have all the required bits and orts included. I have to spend some time going over it with the proverbial fine-toothed comb, as I am sure to have made howling errors (because, well, I always do), but I'll leave that for another day.

I also got the math figured out for how many points to give to each assignment: yay for that. And I have at least some of the preliminary handouts done.

I did not, however, get to the post office to check for the handbook for the 101s. I'll have to try to swing past tomorrow on my way out for my routine Friday thingies and hope like hell it's there, even though I won't be able to work with it until Sunday at the earliest.

The fact that I'm so happy about such small progress (in the grand scheme of things) is an indication of just how desperate I am to see any movement in the correct direction. I even got a few things up on Blackboard and otherwise have begun to get all that ready and organized.

And now I must dash. I hope I have time for another quickie post tomorrow, depending on how much work I try to squeeze in. It hurts me to do it, but I've even set an alarm for tomorrow morning (an alarm! during the summer! What is the world coming to?). I need to get myself onto an earlier schedule so I can get more done in a day.

Off I go--to see Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets. Apropos, I think, with the SF class coming up...


Wednesday, July 26, 2017

That whole "I'll be working and posting more regularly" thing...

Turns out, I not only got caught up in life maintenance, I also got caught in a strong emotional undertow, to my surprise, and had to scrabble my way out of the doldrums and back into work mode. Life maintenance sucked up more of today than I anticipated (and I don't know why I didn't anticipate it, as everything always takes longer than I expect, so I should just expect things to take longer than I expect...). I was able to do a little self-justification about the delay as I needed to get to the post office to see if the long-awaited, correct edition of the handbook for the 101s had arrived. As to why it took me until Wednesday to do that, see "undertow; doldrums" above--but also, in the midst of life maintenance yesterday, I did meet with my distance ed mentor (at long last), which took some time. More on that later.

Meanwhile, I finally got to the post office today, and the handbook still hasn't arrived.

However, in coming out of the doldrums, I also came to a "duh" moment: there's no reason why I can't be working on getting everything set for the SF class while I wait (and wait, and wait) for that handbook. So, when I finally did commence work today, that's what I did. And I'm glad I did, as--of course--it's going to be a little more complicated and involved than I remembered, as I'd cheerfully forgotten that I'm changing a few assignments and need to review some of the work I've already done, to make sure everything dovetails.

I'd  also blissfully forgotten that--thanks to our accreditation review--we have to include more boiler-plate BS in our syllabi. I stumbled across an email from colleague Mary, who is doing heroic work in getting us all the stuff we need, and found 99% of the information I needed. All I'm missing are the specific "goals and outcomes" for the SF course; everything else is now in place. Or at least it's in the syllabus somewhere: I'm not sure exactly where to put what pieces in some cases. Does it make sense to put the information about the Writing Center next to the information about getting accommodations for disabilities, or should it go elsewhere? And if elsewhere, where? Since I now have to include the catalog description and prerequisites for each course, should I do that right under the specifics I have for my office hours and so on, or just before (or after) the Goals and Objectives, or....

And of course, all of this futzing around assumes that the students will actually read, review, pay attention to, absorb anything that's on the syllabus. On a spectrum of unacceptably incomplete to overwhelming with information, my syllabi already were off the charts on the overwhelming end. Now, even more so.

And the "simple" solution to that is to, well, simplify the information on my syllabi (maybe turn them over to Paul and let him take his verbal machete to them, cutting out all my usual claptrap). My mind just has a very hard time with verbal simplicity (witness, I suppose, the length and verbosity of these blog posts).

In any event, I didn't get a lot done today, but it feels great to have gotten even something done. And it turns out that the meeting with the distance ed mentor was not only productive but calming: recording grades for discussion boards online turns out to be easy. And if I want to use Turnitin's technology to comment on and provide grades for essay steps, those grades can be synced with Blackboard's grading system too. I don't know whether I want to experiment with that with the 101s this semester or not. It's certainly not necessary--at least not to do the commenting through Turnitin--but it will be helpful, I think, to test-drive before I have to go fully online with the Nature in Lit in the spring.

(I interrupted myself in the middle of that paragraph to figure out if I can record essay grades on Blackboard without a Turnitin link--as for the preliminary essays in the 101 classes, which don't need a plagiarism check. It is, but students have to upload something to an assignment for me to provide a grade. So, I just added that little wrinkle to the syllabus for the 101s--and I have to do a lot more futzing around with the Blackboard stuff for the 101s and for SF. C'est la guerre.)

In any event, I do hope I actually spend most of tomorrow working--though I have plans to see a movie with a colleague at some point, and I don't know if she wants to include dinner/drinks (or where we're meeting, or when). Friday, I'll work as much as I can before I dash off to my usual Friday things. And so it will go, falling (stumbling) into some kind of work rhythm here, avoiding further undertow...

Friday, July 21, 2017

Turning up the metaphoric heat (to match the temperatures outside)

Today is my second day home from vacation. I spent all of yesterday and a chunk of today doing life maintenance (which needed a lot of doing--and still needs more--given my long absence), but today I did manage to get to some work. I mostly was scanning documents for the 101s, essays I hope to use in place of (or in addition to) things I used two years ago, but I also checked enrollment numbers (which have not moved at all for my courses). That's discouraging; so is the amount of just tracking through that needs to be done: making sure each part of every assignment is available on Blackboard for the 101s and making sure all handouts and essay assignments and Turnitin links are there for all three classes (assuming they run).

One frustration: I dropped by campus yesterday, enthusiastically looking for the special edition of the handbook that I ordered for the 101s so I could start working on the schedule--and the shipping department of the publisher had sent me the regular edition. Argh. I don't mind having an extra copy of the regular edition, mind you, but I really, truly need that special edition. Without that, I can't really put together the assignment schedule, and without the assignment schedule, I don't know how many points to give to various assignments, as I don't know how many there will be.

I repeat: argh. But oh well.

But I really do want to get churning hot on that work. I'm getting increasingly anxious about the lack of progress and the brevity of time remaining before classes start. And tomorrow is a day when I'll be a student all day: if all goes as planned, I'll be in yoga class, tango class, and fiddle lesson, from about 11 a.m. to about 5 p.m. That puts me home about 7--unless I opt to have dinner in the City--but in any event, I know I will get nothing done on my semester prep tomorrow. Yikes and likewise zoiks.

Right now, however, I have to close up shop and leave the house so my cleaning lady can come in and make things relatively presentable (though the cat sitter obviously vacuumed between the last time the cleaner came and when I got home, as the rugs were remarkably free of cat hair). Not quite sure what I'm going to do with myself, but whatever it is, it will involve going out in the 95 degree heat of this afternoon. Quite a shock to the system after being in the Pacific Northwest for ten days. I'm not sure I can crank up the heat on the work to really match that level, but it's a worthy aim.

Now: computer off, printer covered, and more perhaps on Sunday. The posts are going to be relatively frequent from now until December at least (in case you were jonesing for my maunderings). More soon.

Sunday, July 16, 2017

A little work, a big wall

I actually did some work today. It's not the first day during my travels when I've spent a bit of time crunching through work, but it may be one of the best in terms of actual forward momentum--even if there was precious little of that (and every chance that I may decide to reinvent various wheels for the umpteenth time).

I had really hoped to make some progress on the schedule of assignments for the 101s, but I realized I can't do that until I have the handbook in front of me. Remember, this is a special edition of the handbook, including a section on sentence skills that I've not used before, so I need to work through the handbook assignments very carefully, not only checking the page numbers to be sure I'm assigning what I want when I think it will be most valuable but also including more assignments (or lengthier ones, or different references for the "mechanics review" stage). I just won't know until I am actually looking at the book.

On that front, however, I realize that my patience wears out pretty quickly. I know how important the information is for the students, but going over it myself is fucking tedious. Slog, slog, trudge, trudge. Yet it must be done--and quadruple checked, so I know for sure I really am assigning the pages that will be most valuable and am as sure as I can be that I'm not assigning certain pages multiple times (an error I have discovered on many an assignment schedule in the past).

And I have done zero work on the SF class--or the online Nature in Lit. When I get home, after a day of allowing my brain to catch up with my body, I'm going to have to dive in and push fucking hard to get everything done, copied, and ready to go without last-minute panic.

Speaking of last-minute panic: I took a look at the enrollment patterns today, and they're just weird. I don't know if students are signing up for all the early classes because they don't understand that they can scroll down to find more options (or are too lazy to scroll down for more options) or whether suddenly, in the last two years, we have a campus full of early birds and a significant reduction of late risers. The early sections are almost entirely full, across the board. The midday to late afternoon sections--including sections that used to fill to overflowing almost as soon as registration opened--are damned near empty (except for the sections taught by certain professors who are either justifiably beloved or who have reputations for giving everyone good grades, nothing below a B). In any event, it's weird as hell, and very worrisome. However, the last two semesters we had late enrollment surges, so I'm going to try to refrain from panic just yet.

And it seems word has gone out that when the SF course is taught my yours truly, it's a horrible experience: the same nine enrolled students are hanging out in that class, and no one else has decided to join the fun. Well, fuck. Again, I try to refrain from panic.

As for now, I'm just about cooked. I was trying to get folders on the computer organized, so I could find what's where, and even that seemed unduly daunting, which tells me it's time to pack it in for today--and maybe for the next few days. We'll see how things go. Which is always the case, I suppose. But I'm not entirely sure I'll even think about it tomorrow.