So, I am on campus--and I have papers strewn all over the floor, as I started to do the filing thing, waiting to hear from our area dean about summer session 2 classes (whether we needed to close any of them), but then I realized it was getting late and that if I didn't hear from the dean soon, I might miss her for today. I called, and we got that part sorted out. One adjunct also turned back a class for which he had already signed a contract, so Lori, our amazing office supervisor, helped me figure out what to do about that (had to put in a call to the labor relations person to find out how to undo a signed contract). Then I found someone else who can teach the class instead. Good.
I also graded the last paper for this past semester and calculated the student's final grade. I gave her a bit of a bump up to a B+ (she only missed it by a fraction)--mostly because it's summer and I'm feeling generous.
But the big stir these days is an early retirement incentive. It's a very limited time offer--as I may have mentioned: only available to the first 50 people who ask for it. I've had to talk with my financial planner, my family, several friends, a colleague or two ... and I still am having a very hard time making the final decision. Just about everything points to "you should do this"--including the fact that I've been saying for some time that if there were a financial incentive to leave, I'd take it--but ... well, it's just a hell of a mental adjustment to make, from the "if only" to "I can, but here's the reality."
The reality is less money than I'd ideally like, and a huge uprooting to a very different part of the country, not to mention suddenly having to change my identity. A friend once asked me, "What do you answer when people ask 'what are you?'"--as in "what do you do for a living"--but I said most people don't ask it that way: they usually ask, "What do you do?" But the answer, since 2001, has been the same: I'm a teacher. Yes, I'm an English professor--but that's a subset of the larger category "teacher." And being a teacher is something that is intrinsic to my soul, it seems.
Of course, there are a lot of different ways to be a teacher (and a lot of different things to teach). People have asked whether I'd have possibilities for adjunct teaching wherever I go, and the answer is, "Not really" (the only university I could find in Montana that's hiring adjuncts is in Bozeman, and I'll be on the other side of the mountains)--but furthermore, I've wanted to leave because I'm so completely frustrated with this kind of teaching: countering the truculence, arrogance, ignorance--and now just flat inability--of so many of the students. The fact that I can just have finished teaching a class as glorious as the SF was and still feel that resistance to the general tenor of our student body is an indication of my levels of burn-out.
So, yes: I'm almost certain I will take the retirement incentive. I may still back away from the edge--but if I do, I now realize that--financially--it would only make sense to do that if I stay until I'm 66: another four years. Could I manage that? Yes. Would I be happy doing it? No. It would be a choice made purely for financial reasons, nothing else. And generally speaking, I'm not highly money motivated. You see where this is trending.
But it isn't a done deal yet. I am going to write the requisite letters, stating my intention to retire, and then ... see what I do with them. This is somewhat complicated by the fact that I either have to send them tomorrow or wait until I'm back in town in three weeks--and hope that the 50 spots haven't been taken yet (assuming that in three weeks I haven't backed away from the brink and decided to slave away for another nine semesters, as I'd have to get through fall of 2022). So, well, we'll see. But although my friends and colleagues have universally had the "you can't go!" initial reaction, all of them have ended up saying, "you should take it." And it's still much harder than I anticipated. Very interesting. Very strange.
I have no idea how much I'll be posting this summer. Not as regularly as I did last summer, obviously, but I may post more as the summer goes on and I see how my fall semester is shaping up. Right now, neither of my literature electives looks very good. The online course will almost certainly run, and if the Native American Lit doesn't, I'll end up teaching a hybrid 101, which will mean cranking that out jiffy quick. But ... well, no telling now. And now, I need to get stuff off the floor and that letter written and printed. From there, we'll see.
Monday, June 25, 2018
Tuesday, June 12, 2018
Files still unfiled
Well, not an unproductive afternoon, but a brief one--and my huge stack of unfiled stuff is still the chaotic mess it was when I walked in the door.
Instead of dealing with that here's what transpired:
1. I read and marked assignments from the student in the SF class who was fulfilling his incomplete. I could pick nits with his final essay, but it was in many ways very good indeed, and generally a pleasure to read. He didn't knock the top off, but he earned the equivalent of an A- in points, which brought his final grade for the class to a B. If he hadn't experienced the crisis he went through mid-semester, I'm betting he could have gotten better, possibly even an A. He's slowly dragging himself out of an academic hole; he was on academic probation for a while there, but his grades are improving, and he doesn't have much left to finish his degree. I hope he considers taking one of my lit electives in the fall, not only because I need more people enrolled but also because he is intelligent and interested. Of course, I also wouldn't blame him in the least if he decided he'd rather do something less challenging to fulfill his general electives (which is the only place another lit class could go in his degree requirements). We'll see.
2. I exchanged emails from a student from the 101 class who wrote last week to ask why I "gave" him an F. (I leave you to imagine what that did to my blood pressure.) This is a student who made it absolutely clear throughout the entire semester that he could not give a teeny tiny shit about the class and was doing the absolute minimum he could get away with. He completely missed submitting the first version of his second essay, and I accepted his final essay despite the fact that he uploaded it to Turnitin late (which my policy says is verboten). I pointed out the bit about having accepted his final essay even though the policy states it shouldn't be accepted--and he wrote back saying, "Fair enough, but I should point out that only the Turnitin part was late." I responded with a quotation from the assignment sheet: "To be considered on time, the Final Version must be submitted in hard copy in class and uploaded to TurnItIn by 11:59 p.m. on the due date."
Well, he graciously accepted that as the final word, saying that the F would delay his progress but thanking me for the learning experience. I'm pretty sure I heard the effort at respect there, but I responded, praising his graciousness and good attitude about what happened. I also told him he has the skills to do well, and I hope he can actually apply those skills in the future.
He's an absolute textbook case of something Paul and I have discussed repeatedly but have yet to figure out a good way to address: this student thought he was trying hard--but he has absolutely no clue what it really means to try hard. Students really, genuinely believe that if they feel any kind of struggle with their first attempt at something, they have tried their best--and don't recognize that continued, repeated attempts and struggle are required to really do one's best. I wish I could demonstrate that to them in some wonderful, concrete way that they'd understand, but ... well, that's something to think about.
3. I met with the other student who is fulfilling an incomplete, this one a young woman from the 101. She'd done the first version of her essay, which I marked on Sunday. Today was the conference that would have been mandatory if she'd been doing the process with the rest of the class. (She's finishing up the second essay, actually, not the final one.) Again, she's intelligent and interested--and interesting--so the meeting was a pleasure, though I can't say I'm actually thrilled at the thought that I am still not finished grading, as she has yet to submit the final version with all the attendant pieces (revision plan, editing review, articles with annotations and expanded notes, final version). She'll drop that off for me late next week; I'll look at it when I come in on Monday the 25th--when I have to be here anyway to make sure everything is set for the Summer 2 session, as Cathy will be away and out of communication at that point (and good for her!).
4. When I was digging through the box of student assignments (where I toss things in case I need to revisit final essays or grades after the semester is finished), I happened to notice a bit of P&B business that had gotten literally lost in the shuffle: a colleague had submitted qualifications to teach specific upper-level courses, and those qualifications needed to be approved. So, I did that--it took all of about two minutes--and I also fulfilled the "member of P&B" function of signing Cathy's faculty Year-End Evaluation (which we all have to do every other year).
So, various missions accomplished. It's still very early in the day, relatively speaking, so could I stay and get more work done? Sure. Will I? Nope. I know I'll be frantic later in the summer, trying to get ready for fall and trying to clear up from spring, but ... well, procrastination is a wonderful thing, isn't it. I'll think of that later.... (And she flounces off homeward in her large hoop-skirt.)
Instead of dealing with that here's what transpired:
1. I read and marked assignments from the student in the SF class who was fulfilling his incomplete. I could pick nits with his final essay, but it was in many ways very good indeed, and generally a pleasure to read. He didn't knock the top off, but he earned the equivalent of an A- in points, which brought his final grade for the class to a B. If he hadn't experienced the crisis he went through mid-semester, I'm betting he could have gotten better, possibly even an A. He's slowly dragging himself out of an academic hole; he was on academic probation for a while there, but his grades are improving, and he doesn't have much left to finish his degree. I hope he considers taking one of my lit electives in the fall, not only because I need more people enrolled but also because he is intelligent and interested. Of course, I also wouldn't blame him in the least if he decided he'd rather do something less challenging to fulfill his general electives (which is the only place another lit class could go in his degree requirements). We'll see.
2. I exchanged emails from a student from the 101 class who wrote last week to ask why I "gave" him an F. (I leave you to imagine what that did to my blood pressure.) This is a student who made it absolutely clear throughout the entire semester that he could not give a teeny tiny shit about the class and was doing the absolute minimum he could get away with. He completely missed submitting the first version of his second essay, and I accepted his final essay despite the fact that he uploaded it to Turnitin late (which my policy says is verboten). I pointed out the bit about having accepted his final essay even though the policy states it shouldn't be accepted--and he wrote back saying, "Fair enough, but I should point out that only the Turnitin part was late." I responded with a quotation from the assignment sheet: "To be considered on time, the Final Version must be submitted in hard copy in class and uploaded to TurnItIn by 11:59 p.m. on the due date."
Well, he graciously accepted that as the final word, saying that the F would delay his progress but thanking me for the learning experience. I'm pretty sure I heard the effort at respect there, but I responded, praising his graciousness and good attitude about what happened. I also told him he has the skills to do well, and I hope he can actually apply those skills in the future.
He's an absolute textbook case of something Paul and I have discussed repeatedly but have yet to figure out a good way to address: this student thought he was trying hard--but he has absolutely no clue what it really means to try hard. Students really, genuinely believe that if they feel any kind of struggle with their first attempt at something, they have tried their best--and don't recognize that continued, repeated attempts and struggle are required to really do one's best. I wish I could demonstrate that to them in some wonderful, concrete way that they'd understand, but ... well, that's something to think about.
3. I met with the other student who is fulfilling an incomplete, this one a young woman from the 101. She'd done the first version of her essay, which I marked on Sunday. Today was the conference that would have been mandatory if she'd been doing the process with the rest of the class. (She's finishing up the second essay, actually, not the final one.) Again, she's intelligent and interested--and interesting--so the meeting was a pleasure, though I can't say I'm actually thrilled at the thought that I am still not finished grading, as she has yet to submit the final version with all the attendant pieces (revision plan, editing review, articles with annotations and expanded notes, final version). She'll drop that off for me late next week; I'll look at it when I come in on Monday the 25th--when I have to be here anyway to make sure everything is set for the Summer 2 session, as Cathy will be away and out of communication at that point (and good for her!).
4. When I was digging through the box of student assignments (where I toss things in case I need to revisit final essays or grades after the semester is finished), I happened to notice a bit of P&B business that had gotten literally lost in the shuffle: a colleague had submitted qualifications to teach specific upper-level courses, and those qualifications needed to be approved. So, I did that--it took all of about two minutes--and I also fulfilled the "member of P&B" function of signing Cathy's faculty Year-End Evaluation (which we all have to do every other year).
So, various missions accomplished. It's still very early in the day, relatively speaking, so could I stay and get more work done? Sure. Will I? Nope. I know I'll be frantic later in the summer, trying to get ready for fall and trying to clear up from spring, but ... well, procrastination is a wonderful thing, isn't it. I'll think of that later.... (And she flounces off homeward in her large hoop-skirt.)
Tuesday, June 5, 2018
Back to blogging...
Well, I'm back on campus, and back to blogging. (Did you miss me?) It's been an interesting day, on the whole, and there's a lot to say. We'll see how much I have the energy to convey.
I came in largely because the two students who are fulfilling incompletes were supposed to submit their work today. One of them asked if he could submit tomorrow instead, and I said OK; it just means I won't be able to give him his grade as soon as I would have otherwise. The other diligently arrived with her work exactly as specified. (Good girl.) Of course, now I have to read it an respond; she's fulfilling the second essay for 101, which requires two versions, so ... more work for me. I do like that she wants to come in to talk with me about the revision; I'll meet with her next week about that.
While I was here, I was also going to sign a couple of travel requests (as the local and available member of P&B)--but it turns out there are problems with all three. I dutifully signed them, but I had to send emails to the requesters, detailing what they need to provide in order for the bean counters to approve the approval. (Bureaucracy: ain't it great?) I also was going to meet with a student from the SF class--and I did (more on that in a minute)--but before I could do that, a summer student had a complaint about her professor, and since Cathy was called away with an emergency, it fell to me to deal with it. Long, involved story--and I was talking with the student with her father present--but the upshot is that I will need to come in again this week or next to meet with the professor against whom the complaint has been made. This is one of two potential hairballs with student complaints in the last few days. Fun and frolic.
But the main thing is that I had a great time talking with the student from the SF class. I haven't given him a moniker, in part because he's hard to reduce to a quick few words--but I'll call him the Taoist, as he is fascinated by Taoism (and wrote his final essay on how Taoist ideas are apparent in The Left Hand of Darkness). He wanted to meet with me to discuss his revision of his second essay, to see what he could do to improve--nice--and we ended up talking about writing, literature, ideas, spirituality, breathing and meditation practices.... He's intelligent, artistic, relatively mature, and in need of a little more discipline in order to write as well as he could, which is part of what we talked about. He does want to finish his degree here, but then he wants to go to Purchase, which is an excellent choice for him: in the SUNY system, Purchase has a reputation as the most "artsy" of the campuses, and, after considering majoring in film, he's decided he'd rather major in English and minor in film. He says he wants to practice the kind of thinking and expression that is required of an English major. I applaud his decision (of course; always happy to have students move into "our" territory).
And in addition to loaning him Paolo Baccigalupi's The Windup Girl, which I may teach instead of Left Hand whenever I next teach SF (assuming I get some feedback from students saying it would be a good switch to make), I've also told him I'm going to get him Le Guin's version of The Tao Te Ching, as well as the Winnie the Pooh books (all of them; he only knows the Disney versions, poor deprived child). My gift to a gifted young man.
He's also one of the students who said he would be interested in taking Native American Lit. Turns out, it would actually fulfill a requirement for him so ... well, we'll see if he actually signs up. If so, great.
So all that transpired today. What didn't happen--and won't, now--is my cleaning out any of my files or organizing any of the stacks of crap all over this office. Well, I'll be in again sooner than I might like, so, later for that.
Meanwhile, I've done some reading of possible replacements for the books for the Native American Lit class. I read a novel, The Hiawatha, by David Treuer, that was jaw-droppingly gorgeous, and is set as much in the city as on the res (more so, in fact), which would be a good thing to include, but ultimately I've decided to stick with Ceremony. The downsides to it are that it's older--and I'd like students to know that Native writing didn't stop in the 1970s--and that it invites plagiarism (so much available about it online). But there are also a ton of critical works students can draw from (and introducing critical material is part of my mandate in these classes, dammit); there are far fewer for
The Hiawatha, and they rely on knowledge of more books or more of the modern "tradition" than I can teach in the class. So, with reluctance, I let that one go. But ... holy God, what a wonderful read. Heartbreaking but magnificent.
And with that, I think I'll call it a day. I have no idea when I'll post again; it rather depends on when I next have a day in which I am focused on work stuff--which may be sooner than I'd ideally like, depending on what happens with the student complaint I fielded today (or anything else, for that matter). But I will be back at it periodically throughout the summer, more as it gets closer to start of the fall semester, of course. As always. For now, I will wend my way homeward, with work to be continued. As always.
I came in largely because the two students who are fulfilling incompletes were supposed to submit their work today. One of them asked if he could submit tomorrow instead, and I said OK; it just means I won't be able to give him his grade as soon as I would have otherwise. The other diligently arrived with her work exactly as specified. (Good girl.) Of course, now I have to read it an respond; she's fulfilling the second essay for 101, which requires two versions, so ... more work for me. I do like that she wants to come in to talk with me about the revision; I'll meet with her next week about that.
While I was here, I was also going to sign a couple of travel requests (as the local and available member of P&B)--but it turns out there are problems with all three. I dutifully signed them, but I had to send emails to the requesters, detailing what they need to provide in order for the bean counters to approve the approval. (Bureaucracy: ain't it great?) I also was going to meet with a student from the SF class--and I did (more on that in a minute)--but before I could do that, a summer student had a complaint about her professor, and since Cathy was called away with an emergency, it fell to me to deal with it. Long, involved story--and I was talking with the student with her father present--but the upshot is that I will need to come in again this week or next to meet with the professor against whom the complaint has been made. This is one of two potential hairballs with student complaints in the last few days. Fun and frolic.
But the main thing is that I had a great time talking with the student from the SF class. I haven't given him a moniker, in part because he's hard to reduce to a quick few words--but I'll call him the Taoist, as he is fascinated by Taoism (and wrote his final essay on how Taoist ideas are apparent in The Left Hand of Darkness). He wanted to meet with me to discuss his revision of his second essay, to see what he could do to improve--nice--and we ended up talking about writing, literature, ideas, spirituality, breathing and meditation practices.... He's intelligent, artistic, relatively mature, and in need of a little more discipline in order to write as well as he could, which is part of what we talked about. He does want to finish his degree here, but then he wants to go to Purchase, which is an excellent choice for him: in the SUNY system, Purchase has a reputation as the most "artsy" of the campuses, and, after considering majoring in film, he's decided he'd rather major in English and minor in film. He says he wants to practice the kind of thinking and expression that is required of an English major. I applaud his decision (of course; always happy to have students move into "our" territory).
And in addition to loaning him Paolo Baccigalupi's The Windup Girl, which I may teach instead of Left Hand whenever I next teach SF (assuming I get some feedback from students saying it would be a good switch to make), I've also told him I'm going to get him Le Guin's version of The Tao Te Ching, as well as the Winnie the Pooh books (all of them; he only knows the Disney versions, poor deprived child). My gift to a gifted young man.
He's also one of the students who said he would be interested in taking Native American Lit. Turns out, it would actually fulfill a requirement for him so ... well, we'll see if he actually signs up. If so, great.
So all that transpired today. What didn't happen--and won't, now--is my cleaning out any of my files or organizing any of the stacks of crap all over this office. Well, I'll be in again sooner than I might like, so, later for that.
Meanwhile, I've done some reading of possible replacements for the books for the Native American Lit class. I read a novel, The Hiawatha, by David Treuer, that was jaw-droppingly gorgeous, and is set as much in the city as on the res (more so, in fact), which would be a good thing to include, but ultimately I've decided to stick with Ceremony. The downsides to it are that it's older--and I'd like students to know that Native writing didn't stop in the 1970s--and that it invites plagiarism (so much available about it online). But there are also a ton of critical works students can draw from (and introducing critical material is part of my mandate in these classes, dammit); there are far fewer for
The Hiawatha, and they rely on knowledge of more books or more of the modern "tradition" than I can teach in the class. So, with reluctance, I let that one go. But ... holy God, what a wonderful read. Heartbreaking but magnificent.
And with that, I think I'll call it a day. I have no idea when I'll post again; it rather depends on when I next have a day in which I am focused on work stuff--which may be sooner than I'd ideally like, depending on what happens with the student complaint I fielded today (or anything else, for that matter). But I will be back at it periodically throughout the summer, more as it gets closer to start of the fall semester, of course. As always. For now, I will wend my way homeward, with work to be continued. As always.
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