Tired. Hungry. Leaving.

I did sleep in late this morning; in fact, if the car repair place hadn't called, I might still be sleeping. I am not sure when I'll feel like I've gotten enough rest, however: not only have I not slept well for several months, grief is exhausting. Ah well.

Since I got in so late today (not even this morning: it was after noon by the time I walked into the office), I didn't get much organizing done--and there is a fair amount of stuff I want to have nailed down tomorrow. I do want to return first idea logs to the Native American Lit students, so they have an idea what to do better next time, and I do need to make copies of handouts for the 102 classes so I'm set for next week. I had intended to stay tonight to get some of that done, but, well, no.

I am happy to report, however, that both 102 classes went well today. The earlier section performed well, as I had hoped they would, and the later section redeemed themselves quite nicely, getting a good conversation going on both stories. I am a bit concerned about a young woman who was in 102 with me last semester: she had to withdraw because of a family emergency that caused excessive absences--and she was absent today (and late on Monday). I hope I'm not sensing a trend here. I've got a repeat student in the other section, too--and he may also be repeating a trend from last term, as he didn't have one of his logs today. I let it go this one time--I'll accept the log on Monday--but he'd better button it up starting right now. Still, I actively invited both those students to take the class with me again, as both are very bright and potentially capable. If they live up to their potential, they'll be a blast to have around.

I had a nice interaction with a student from the later class, at the end of that session. During class she told me she was concerned about the idea logs, whether she'd done them correctly because she'd felt confused, and I assured her that asking questions--and trying to answer them--was a wonderful way to use the logs. After class she reiterated that she is worried about having trouble understanding the stories, "getting confused," as she said--and because she wants to do well, she is very anxious. I again assured her that it's fine to be confused--that, in fact, often the best learning comes out of working through confusion. I urged her to relax and allow herself to make mistakes: as long as she learns from them, they're beneficial. She was relieved; she said she'd never before had a teacher tell her it's OK to be confused, and I think simply that I gave her that permission will make a lot of difference. I also encouraged her--and several other students--to use me as a resource, keeping in touch by e-mail or through my office hours or appointments. I want them to come to me; it's one of my favorite parts of teaching.

I did notice that the young man who wrote the lovely e-mail yesterday was not in class again today. I'm not sure what happened there, but it's not boding well. And a young man came up to me after the second class to ask if he could be allowed in: he had a long, sad story, but the upshot was that he was trying to register for a 102 class after the end of the drop-add period--and since my class has seats available, he wanted to get into mine but needed my permission. I was very sweet about it, but I told him that he'd be too far behind and it wouldn't be fair to him, as he wouldn't have the best chance of doing well. His graduation will be delayed if he can't find a teacher to let him in, and of course that makes him unhappy, but he did seem to understand that it wouldn't make much sense to get into the class only to have to withdraw or fail. I wish him luck.

I just realized, I didn't do the ice-breaker exercise with either class, though I'd meant to do it today. I will try to do it next week: it bugs me that I don't know their names yet. Well, I know a few, but not everyone, and it's important to me to know them all. I think it helps them feel comfortable--reassured that I know them well enough to tend to them as individuals--and that comfort helps them take risks, which they must do. I just realized, I also didn't give my working through frustration/what college is for speech. I guess that will have to go by the wayside this semester: we're deep enough in the work now that I don't know if/when I'd be able to take the time for it. Ah well. It will be interesting to see whether it makes a damned bit of difference.

I'll try to get on a more normal schedule tomorrow: get up at the usual time, get into the office at the usual time, finish marking logs for 229 and get a good run at organization before class. I hope. Right now, the bells just rang six o'clock: that's an early departure for me, but I'm going to take it. Maybe I can get another decent night of sleep and feel a bit closer to being compos mentis tomorrow. Signing off with a weary wave....