Catching up

There are a couple of things that happened on Wednesday last week that I don't think I recorded in here, so, since nothing of tremendous interest happened today, I'll make note now. If I did talk about them, well, my brains are made of Swiss cheeze these days, so I can't be held responsible for what falls through the holes.

First, I was grading final versions of those first papers for the 102 classes--and came across one that was completely unrevised (and largely uncorrected), but the student had made a note on one of the earlier versions explaining why what he had done was fine and didn't need to be revised. Au contraire, mon frere. I'm afraid I rather lost it--though even so, I pulled my punches. I told him that my comments are there for a reason: subtext, I know what the fuck I'm talking about, and if I say you're off base, you need to believe me. Essentially I told him that his job was to reconsider his ideas based on my feedback, and that if he doesn't believe I have anything of value to offer, he's going to have a hard time getting anything worthwhile out of the class. Hint, hint. Smug, arrogant shit. I'd be more willing to give him a little kindness if he had any justification for his arrogance, but he doesn't: he's not a top-class brain and hardly a stellar writer. It will be interesting to see how he responds.

I also blew up at that entire class. The student who perpetually wants to persuade me that I shouldn't teach the way I do got into a thing with another student about how they couldn't do their idea logs because they didn't understand the poems. First, I had to get him to shut up and listen to me (I had to yell), and then I said, "ASK QUESTIONS. How many times have I said that this semester? It's fine if you don't understand--but then you need to ASK QUESTIONS. You're not supposed to understand everything; if you did, I'd be out of a job. But when you don't, it is your responsibility to ASK--and to at least TRY to answer your questions, even if doing so just leads to more questions." I managed to keep from actually getting angry (OK, for a second I was, when he wouldn't shut up), so the students weren't scared--though maybe they should be, as their logs still are pathetic.

I need to figure out how to get them to understand the process of questioning. I realize that's one important key to understanding. The other is to slow down: when students try to understand the entire thing (whatever it may be) in one big gulp, they just choke on it--and I'm sick of having to do the intellectual equivalent of the Heimlich maneuver. Take it a little bit at a time and look at it carefully. I don't know how to show them what to do, how it's done. The students who get the readings quickly will be frustrated by the exercise (if I can come up with one), but even for them, it can be valuable, as it can reveal not only depths they may have missed but can help them understand how they do what they do. I just have no idea how to do it. The PowerPoint thing was such a disaster, I'm afraid to head into that territory again, but it's very clear to me that we need to do something. Of course, what "we" really need to do is go back in time and educate them properly from kindergarten on, but barring that, I really want to find a way to get them to question their way into answers, and to pay attention to details.

As long as I'm on the topic of annoying things, the student who wants me to make exceptions for every rule for him, the one who didn't understand why he can't submit work late, sent an e-mail today asking to be "excused" for his absence because he had to go to a funeral. I'm sorry for your loss, I said, but there are no excused absences. Things like funerals are why students are given three absences with no penalty. I pointed him--with some asperity--to the syllabus and suggested that perhaps he might want to read the policies again....

I think I mentioned the student in Native American Lit who was struggling with the difference between critical essays and short stories, writing his papers about the former rather than the latter. He sent an e-mail today, asking what he should write his big paper on: should it be the critical essays? Read the fucking assignment sheet, you moron. It specifically says what you need to write about.

Why do I bother writing directions? Why do I bother saying anything in class? They're so locked into what they think they know, it's like trying to get someone's attention on the opposite side of a very loud bar, with a live band and maybe a brawl going on in one corner. They can't hear me over the din inside their own brains.

Oh, and that reminds me: I added to the "Bozo Errors" lists. New entries include "Dinner, Diner, Dinning, Dining" and "Manner, Manor." Pretty soon the damned list is going to be 40 pages long, if this keeps up. I'm simply not going to give in. I know that even the most prestigious of publications are now guilty of howling blunders along those lines (a favorite case being when Time magazine included reference to someone wearing a "solar toupee"--a whole new way to charge one's electronic devices, apparently). But I refuse to allow my (ostensibly) college educated students to fall into such sloppiness. There are some things I'm not a stickler about, but that sort of, well, bozoness, for lack of a better term, reduces me to slavering incoherence.

Ok, ok, reframe, reframe. Let's think of something positive. Although I didn't finish marking the 102 papers over the weekend, I do have the assignments marked to return to the Native American Lit students tomorrow. (Of course, there were only about 6 of them, but still, it's done.) I have six more 102 papers to grade, and a huge pile of homework that I need to get back by Wednesday, but if I just plop grades on stuff and don't comment (huge note to self: don't comment), I can probably get through it all OK. I don't have a meeting tomorrow, only P&B and the one class. Of course, there's always the possibility of the unforeseen interruption or nagging need to get something else done instead (or to do something really self-indulgent, like sleep in, rather than setting the alarm), but hope springs eternal.

Oh, and a nice event from today (hooray! a positive note to end on!): Mr. Enthusiastic, from the Native American Lit class, showed up to my office hour today and we went over his ideas for his paper. He was off base to start with (much too big an idea, and not enough specific focus on the stories), but I think he has a handle on something better now. I probably offered a bit too much help--I rather handed him the topic--but I want him to do well, and I think with my resetting of his direction, he has a chance to do fine. I sure hope so. I'm interested to see how that class continues to shake out: I've got a couple of students holding on who probably should bail, and I've lost a couple I'd rather have kept, but I think there's going to be a good mix of intelligence and hard work in there, and that in the end, the class will be a success. That sure would be nice.