I have to/I can't

Another rough day: headachy all day (really, not just trying to bail on responsibilities), not enough sleep, the usual plaints. I just barely managed to get everything marked for today's class (had to finish up during class), and although all day I was telling myself I "had" to grade the essay for the one student who is coming to a conference tomorrow, by the time I finished class, I realized that I "can't." That's in scare quotes because I could, of course, if absolutely necessary--but it isn't absolutely necessary, and I know whatever I managed to do tonight would be ill-considered and badly expressed. (My head is not actively hurting at the moment, but I have the usual serious case of the stupids that follows in the wake of the  hurt.) Rather than put myself through the effort for a less than optimal result, I emailed the student and told him his essay will be available tomorrow before noon--and since his appointment isn't until after 4, I hope that will allow him a chance to print and review it prior to our conference.

And I already know--actual headache or feigned--I will have to bail on my Advisement time tomorrow. I have to get the rest of the essays graded for 102. Really, truly do have to--and I don't see how I can otherwise. So, that will be the work of the afternoon.

I collected homework from both 101s, but I just marked who submitted, as some students will want the reading (and their "notes," paltry as those are) back before they have to write their essays, and some of them actually plan to write their essays, or at least start them, this weekend. Cool beans.

But I did have to give a bit of the same lecture to today's class that I did to yesterday's, about the fact that the information on quizzes isn't some strange, self-contained information that only applies to the quiz: it's actually something that has direct bearing on their writing. And that simply summarizing what they read is not sufficient; they need to find a way to engage with the material. I know I was particularly cranky because of my physical condition, but I found myself writing on one student's homework, "THINK." (In fact, I wrote it twice.) They come up with the most idiotic stuff--like, "if farmers aren't making enough money they should just find another job" or "farmers shouldn't care what other people think, they should just grow what they want."

I can't even begin to talk about what's wrong with both of those statements, but I think they could be used as excellent illustrations of what is meant by "inane," or perhaps "witless."

I also snapped at a young woman today who had her phone out--again. This was at least the fourth time this semester that I've had to say something to her about it, which I pointed out to her, and when she said, "sorry," I said, "'Sorry' doesn't really cut it with me any more." The entire class went silent. I said, "You can keep talking in your groups." More silence. Me: "Oooooo, she's mad." A little nervous laughter. Me: "I'll sing until you feel comfortable talking again." They did start talking--and one student who had been out of the room during the whole episode walked in at that point, and the girl at whom I had snapped said, "You shoulda been here for that" and explained. I realized, in her reaction, that she figured she'd gotten away with it by being cutsie. Well, if I see it again, I'm tossing her out of the class--just for the day, but still: out. Leave. Vamoose. Not having it.

If I were Paul, I'd have been ferocious and tossing students out from day one. I haven't wanted to fight that fight, but ... I kinda wish I had, because it really is completely annoying. Am I boring you? I am? Tough shit.

Yeah. Patience is running very, very, very thin at this point. Breathe, Prof. P: breathe.

In any event, I really, really need to get home. I had intended to be out of here about an hour ago, but I spent a very pleasant time talking with Paul, and that's worth a later departure. Still, home. Now. More tomorrow.