Another quickie

I feel like I'm in some ridiculous gauntlet in which students hurl papers and assignments and sources and questions at me--or perhaps like Alice when the Queen of Hearts et al. turn into cards and fly around her head. It took me an hour just to sort out what I have: yet-to-be-marked homework, yet-to-be-marked revisions, end-of-semester self-evaluations, sources for final projects, peer responses to final projects, my notes on final projects (with six more to go)--and a few panic, last-minute proposals for 229. One I could approve; one is damned close (and I think he'll be able to respond to my comments and get me something approvable tomorrow). One student missed class on Monday and hasn't contacted me. One student missed class, dropped off something completely inadequate--but is out of class anyway; I just need to tell him so (he's over the limit in terms of absences). And one student apparently thinks he can write the paper based on his extremely uncertain understanding of class discussion, without having read the novel, never mind having understood it.

I do not understand this kind of student. In class he'll freely confess to being bewildered, but he steadfastly refuses to come to me for help. (Is he afraid I'll bite? Do I have bad breath? What??) He apparently won't get help anywhere else, either (for instance, from the Writing Center). He doesn't hesitate to ask me to reconfigure the assignment so he doesn't have to do the required work, but he won't do what he needs to so he can do the work I require. (Prolix sentence, but you get the drift.) He will not pass. I know he won't, and I suspect he knows he won't--but he won't withdraw either.

I used to knock myself out trying to rescue kids like that. Not any more. I will make the offer of help--I've made it repeatedly, in fact--but if he isn't motivated (or brave) enough to take me up on it, then I wash my hands. I'd rather deal with the student who didn't show up to class (for the 7th time), left that inadequate proposal in my mailbox, and hasn't bothered to check to see if it was approved. If he turns up tomorrow (doubtful, but one never knows), I'll simply lead him back outside, explain that his only options are withdraw or fail, and let him be pissed off until he realizes that it won't get him anywhere. At least with him the issue is clear. The one who's still floundering around as if he wants to make it--showing up, turning in unmitigated bilge but at least turning in something--is harder to eliminate.

Heavy sigh.

I'm still doing the rotation of putting out fires, trying to figure out which assignments need my attention first. Meanwhile, all committee work is at a stand-still. If it bursts into flames (metaphorically speaking), someone else will have to find the fire extinguisher. I'll deal with committee stuff when I'm back in January. For now, I want--and need--to have as much grading done as possible before I get on that plane on Tuesday, so I have a fighting chance of getting my final grades turned in before the paper-pushers start tsking at me. I had a little panic attack earlier, worrying that my final grade sheets might not be available before I leave--and then I remembered that we don't get those on paper anymore: that's all on the online system (Banner: a somewhat user-hostile industry standard program for keeping administrative records, registering students, and so on). So I have only one stupid paper record to bother with, not two--and I already have that one.

Despite the problems with Banner, one of its advantages is I can check who is registered in my classes any time I like. I'm flattered that a number of 101 students--generally among the better ones--have chosen me for 102 as well. I'm a little worried about low enrollment in 281 (Nature in Lit), but it's early days yet. If it's still looking dicey in January, I'll see if there is any kind of advisement going on that I might haunt with flyers, metaphorically body snatching, working to fill seats. Sometimes I've gotten terrific students that way--but with Banner handling registration, very few students actually go for advisement any more (and those who do are often not exactly top drawer). Makes student rustling harder.

In any event, right now my eyes are burning, but I am still going to go to swing class. I'll have to miss the next two weeks, so I want to get as much into my muscle memory as I can before I spend my vacation forgetting it all. And I have just enough time to look at my calendar, think about tomorrow, and strategize a little before I go.