brief

I'm feeling hemi-demi-semi-cranky because I am supposed to come to campus tomorrow for an Assessment colloquium. I've already said I'll be there--and I've been telling myself that it's OK if I get there late (the wretched thing is supposed to start at 8 a.m., for fuck's sake)--so I am in a bit of a tussle with myself over the desire to bail. I even pushed my riding lesson later in the day to accommodate my being at the colloquium through to the bitter end, but really and truly, I just don't want to go. Ever see a toddler collapsing at the knees to keep from walking where he or she doesn't want to go, being pulled along by the parent, being lifted to his or her feet and collapsing, over and over? That's what's going on inside my mind.

Classes today were relatively disastrous. No one was ready to talk about anything. No energy, not even the energy that arises from panic. Contrast yesterday's brilliant and lively class. Ugh. Hard to end a week on this note.

On a better note, scheduling summer adjuncts went fine: now we wait for people to say "no" to what we've offered and for classes to get canceled, at which point we return to the drawing board. Everyone has been saying, "Wait until fall. Fall is a train-wreck." Oh, goody.

I have no appointments for my evening office hour today, so I'm going to fold my tents and head off. I've got a bag of work to take home over the weekend, but who knows how much, if any, I'll actually do. But soon it will all be over--including the shouting, I fondly hope.