I just whacked out the two observation reports. The good one I've signed and just need to give to the office so they can process it. The bad one I need to run past P&B tomorrow; I've e-mailed it to them all and hope they have a chance to review it before the meeting.
I opted to get those out of my hair partly because the good one has been going unwritten for too long but mostly because that was something I could do with minimal brain--unlike commenting on second round student papers, which is the other pressing thing. More pressing, actually: I truly do have to get the student papers back to them on Wednesday. However, the brain-o-meter is running pretty low right now: too many nights without enough sleep (because of increased levels of anxiety, mostly). So reading student papers and being able to say anything remotely meaningful seemed a dubious proposition at best.
I'm looking at those year-end evaluations, too, dammit, and even though they shouldn't be hard or time consuming, once I actually sit down at them, they are just one more thing.
And that's the problem, has been all semester. I'm holding my own, but my grasp is pretty shaky, and so every one more thing that comes along is more weight on my back, threatening to drag my finger- and toe-holds loose from this precipice I'm clinging to, trying to scramble up (or down: which way does that feeling of relaxation and ease lie?) I hope desperately that I'm not forgetting anything else: I'm waiting for the grade grievance meeting to come down the pike--and there is very little time left in the semester for that to happen. Two weeks from today, I'll be crunching final grades and getting ready for the scheduling kerfuffle. Three weeks from today, I'll be flying to Kansas for the conference. Actually, by this time, I'll be sitting down in the Executive Council meeting.... And no, I still haven't written the paper. I'm rereading the novels I'll be talking about, as a way of deluding myself into thinking I'm doing something productive along those lines. (OK, it's not really delusional: it will help to have the novels fresh in my head. But it isn't writing.)
I did almost nothing with the students today; I said I'd answer questions or help those who wanted it, but everyone else could simply hand over the paper and split. Interestingly enough, at the end of each class, I ended up having an information conversation with an A student about the state of education. (And yes, I have an A student in each class--possibly two in the earlier one.) I love when I can just sort of hang out with them and talk. In fact, I'm looking forward to our last class day together, when that's pretty much what we do.
And that day is rushing at me like a bullet train, and I'm in this little hand-car, trying to move that handle up and down fast enough to keep from being run over. But the best thing I can do right now is get some food into this body and try to get it into bed ASAP. And adopt the Scarlett O'Hara mantra, which I haven't trotted out in some time. But tomorrow truly is another day. Nice how one can depend on that.
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