Making slight headway

Both classes went well enough today--though both classes were pretty sparsely attended. The students were paying attention as I went over the writing process (again), talked about what happens in each stage, and still were paying attention and taking notes as I talked through APA format. I'm pretty sure I covered essentially the same stuff in both classes, which is often a concern: I realize I didn't tell one class or the other something crucial, or feel I covered something much better in one class than in the other. But today, everything felt calm enough.

The only thing I could be concerned about is that I have a lot to do tomorrow, very possibly more than I can actually get done. I have a big stack of stuff to mark for the SF class--which technically I don't have to get back tomorrow, but it would be nice to feel like I have my feet clear going into Wednesday and the deluge of first versions of essays from the comp classes. More important is to review the remaining sabbatical applications before P&B.

So the big question is, how early am I going to be able to get up? I've had all these wonderful intention about setting a 6 a.m. alarm on Tuesdays and Thursdays--and more often than not, I've either turned the alarm off and gone right back to sleep or haven't bothered to set it at all. Consequently, I'm not making myself any promises about tomorrow. I hope I have the discipline to get up early--if not at 6 then at least at 6:30, which is my usual Monday/Wednesday alarm time. But if sleep wins the battle, so be it.

I'd also like to report that both Paul and Scott said they enjoyed subbing my classes. I know that's sort of the nice thing to say, like gesundheit in answer to a sneeze, but I don't think they're just being polite: I think they actually did like the classes. I certainly do.

I was thinking about that today, in fact. I'm blessed this semester: all three of my classes are just fine, not a bad one in the bunch, and that's rare. I realized today that if I could just have classes like these every semester and not deal with any of the other headaches that come with this job, I'd not be in such a big hurry to retire. Of course, there are no guarantees that I'll have such good luck in future semesters--and I am not yet free of the other headaches. If I want to continue getting the evening supervisor stipend, I need to continue to be a member of P&B, and there are enough headaches attached to that as it is. I don't do much on the seminar hours committee beyond providing the occasional idea; I haven't done any actual work in some time--and I feel oddly guilt-free about that. I've paid my fucking dues, thank you very much: that's why I have the full professorship. Of course, a number of members of that committee are also full professors--true of P&B, too, now that I think of it. Some of us just are cursed with giving a shit, so we end up doing the work even when we don't have to. William is smart enough to have found places to do work that he actually enjoys, in addition to its being highly valuable to the department and the campus. I haven't got that figured out yet (partly because there isn't much work I enjoy when it comes to committees), but I'm at least able to limit myself to just those two committees. I do that work; I go to the contractually mandated number of professional development events each year; I teach. Done.

And I'm good at the teaching part. Really good at it. My comp students really do learn something about writing. My lit students really do learn something about the literature, whatever it is. I'm not as gifted as the adjunct I observed a while back, but I'm still damned good. And I think I can make it through at least two more semesters after this one. Beyond that, I don't know--but I don't have to know yet.

In fact, I don't have to think about any of those upcoming semesters at all. The only thing I have to think about right now is getting myself home, shedding the professorial persona on the way, and do the stuff I do just as a human being in the world. That's pretty damned good.