Long weekend ahead

I'm choosing to believe that I will recover rapidly from the procedure tomorrow (if indeed I do go through a procedure tomorrow: I won't know for sure until I talk to the endodontist). Assuming rapid recovery, it will be good to have a long weekend ahead of me in which to churn through the first versions of student papers and the reading journals I've been collecting the last few days. I did get all the journals for today's class marked and back to them, so that's reduced the load a teeny bit. To balance it, however, are the papers I may still get from students who are submitting late (one of whom just dropped by the office to find out what to do in terms of submitting his paper late).

It's always hard to tell at this point whether students who don't show up for class are truly gone or just ducking this particular assignment. But even if they're trying to dodge the first paper, it won't help them. Not only will their grades take a hit, they then have to head into the next paper without the benefit of having been through the process and getting feedback from me. However, there's no way to head that particular problem off at the pass. Students who try this approach simply have to live the experience of it backfiring--and some have to have that negative experience on multiple occasions--before they'll learn that it is counterproductive.

The fear factor. It's extremely hard to address, and I need to learn to accept that there is little I can do about it. Students need to acquire a certain amount of intestinal fortitude, not merely to face difficult classes such as mine but also to get through life as high-functioning adults. If one wants to be booted around by the powers that be, then lack of backbone is not a concern. But if one wants any authority over one's own life, then spine and guts are required.

Poor Paul is dealing with the very first steps of the attempt to socialize the youngsters who arrive in our classes and to turn them into something approaching responsible students--not even necessarily adults (there is still a modicum of unreality that blesses those who are not solely responsible for their entire lives). As he describes the whining and complaining, the resistance to rules, that he's facing from one section in particular, I am overcome with gratitude that I'm not dealing with that this semester. My students have been socialized sufficiently that they may not like my rules, but their attempts to fuss their way out of them are half-hearted and quickly abandoned. (Notice, however, that many do still hope to fuss their way out of the rules. Eventually, they'll learn not to even try--but that will take a lot longer.)

On the other--and very happy--hand, I have a student in today's 102 who is terrific. I've mentioned him before, but we had another gratifying post-class discussion today. He's the one who was telling me how much easier it was to read War and Peace than to read The Sound and the Fury. When he read Le Guin's short story "Ile Forest," his responses were rich and wonderful--even though he got himself into an interpretation that is clearly not borne out by the story's "facts." Yet he wouldn't let go of it, straining to adapt the "facts" to fit his interpretation. I was delighted to see his originality of thought, but my comments to him said, essentially, "you have to learn to let go of a cool idea when the facts you're finding stop supporting it." I overheard him talking with another of my favorite students (the one returnee from last semester), making fun of himself about it, and admitting that I'd called him on the BS he'd been spouting. I laughed with them and said, "Yeah. Sometimes you have to let go." However, his real concern was with his other reading journal. The story (W. P. Kinsella's "Dance Me Outside") had seemed simple to him, so he didn't engage in much analysis--which I pointed out. After class, he was rather beating himself up about it, even called his work shoddy--too harsh an evaluation, I said--witness the fact that I gave him a B+ on the journal. It's an indication of his ambition, and I suppose his respect for my opinion, that he considered that somewhat a slap in the face. But the primary issue is, it wasn't bad work at all; he's simply capable of better. And he knew it. And he was glad to be called on it. That is a wonderful quality in a student.

And the other young man, the returnee from last semester, came in a moment ago to hand me a cleaner typed copy of his paper. He asked me to read a paragraph he's struggling with, and as I started to give him feedback, he realized he already knew the problems--and said he'd work on fixing them for the next version. Damn straight. He's got the right work ethic, that's for sure.

In a strange confluence of events, I have several students who are experiencing serious health problems, and they want to gut it out and get past the problems, get themselves turned around--and they're digging themselves into a hole they're going to have a hell of a hard time getting out of. I've told them they should consider an administrative withdrawal, which removes them from all their classes and wipes from their records any indication they even attempted the semester: it doesn't affect their GPAs or their academic standing. They don't, or won't, and although I sympathize with their desire to remain in school and get caught up, I truly don't have much faith that they can. And even if they do, their final grades will suffer unnecessarily. But again, that's a lesson that most of them have to learn the hard way.

I'm realizing today that even now, with first versions of first papers in hand, I still don't feel quite in the swing of this semester. Part of the bumpiness has been caused by the distraction of my own health (another reason I sympathize with how health problems can bollix up one's work). I'm not sure what else might factor in, but I suspect the deep, systemic changes I'm trying to affect in myself, regarding how I approach my life in general and my work in specific, are also playing a part. I seem always to be able to think more clearly about what I want to change, at least philosophically, between semesters, but when it comes to actually putting it into practice, things tend to get a lot more blurry. As I've said before, this semester is a grand experiment in trying at least a few different approaches to how I use my time, and it will be interesting to see what my time looks like when I'm hale and healthy--and fully engaged in the Advisement process.

Meanwhile, however, this is officially the start of my weekend. Please God, may I spend it not incapacitated with mouth pain.