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THINGS HAVE CHANGED:

Since I am no longer a professor in the classroom, this blog is changing focus. (I may at some future date change platforms, too, but not yet). I am now (as of May 2019) playing around with the idea of using this blog as a place to talk about the struggles of writing creatively. Those of you who have been following (or dipping in periodically) know that I've already been doing a little of that, but now the change is official. I don't write every day--yet--so I won't post to the blog every day--yet. But please do check in from time to time, if you're interested in this new phase in my life.


Hi! And you are...?

I am interested to see the fluctuation in my readers--but I don't know who is reading the blog, how you found it, and why you find it interesting. I'd love to hear from you! Please feel free to use the "comment" box at the end of any particular post to let me know what brought you to this page--and what keeps you coming back for more (if you do).





Tuesday, February 7, 2012

A breather

I was just starting to mark the stack of journal/logs for tomorrow's class and realized that my brains (never mind my heart) weren't in it. I'm not sure if I'll get back to them tonight or if they'll have to wait until tomorrow. And if they wait until tomorrow, I'm not sure if I'll risk that there will be a slow day at Advisement, allowing me sufficient time to finish them during that time block, or if I'll play hooky. (I'm not sure how "sick" time works with that: something to look into.)

I will say that some of the journal/logs do look better than the first submission: some students are at least making a better attempt, even if it still isn't enough to earn terrific grades. I suspect there will be lots of C's--but since I went over grade inflation with them last class, I can remind them of that reality. Of course, when I present that notion, most of them assume that they will naturally fall into the elite categories: their sense of the quality of their own work has been so grossly inflated in the name of "self-esteem" that when they realize their work is, in fact, no better than average, it is deeply wounding.

And as Paul was just saying, in the cut-throat culture in which we live, "average" is no longer good enough. That's relatively frightening: let's think about what "average" actually denotes. More people should fall into that category than any other, so if it's not good enough, what happens to all those people? That's an enormous, systemic problem in the global society--but I can't do anything about it in my little classroom, except to try to help students 1) recognize the actual quality of their work and thinking and 2) work in ways that will help them improve.

Strange how our society sneers and bristles at the idea of an elite--and yet demands that people join it. Talking about society as an entity (and overlooking obvious ways in which the generalization does not hold), the apparent desire isn't to dumb down the elite or to eradicate it, but still somehow, everyone is supposed to be part of it, at which point, of course, it is no longer an elite. Weird lack of logic there.

I didn't have much interaction with students today. Yes, the Native American Lit class met, but we were watching a video about the Ghost Dance "war," so mostly I was just managing the DVD--skipping the scenes I had to cut in order to show them the salient bits that would fit into the class period--while I watched the students fall asleep or doodle. I specifically told them to take notes of questions they had plus specific observations, what stood out to them, but apparently that instruction is useless: say "we're watching a video" and students hear "leave your brain at the door." I may have to make it a graded assignment, devise a sheet of specific questions they have to answer and a minimum of questions they must ask: it seems the only way to make them understand that what they're going to watch is actually substantive and that they need to do more than passively let it wash over them.

After today's experience, my faith in the intelligence of one student has been somewhat shaken, but there are two others who are delightful to have in class. One is a former student (who was in the less wild section of 102 last semester), and the other is the one who missed class because of a death in the family. Both are quiet and reserved, but when they say something, it's great. There wasn't much class discussion after the video (as most of them weren't paying attention), but the slightly older student had some good responses and questions. In that brief discussion, I did have to show my palm to Mr. Irrepressible a couple of times (and even then he had a hard time shutting up), but that was about it. One student was back in class having missed all of last week. He's turned in absolutely nothing to date--and I'm bending over backward to allow him chances to turn in work. Following my usual formula in such circumstances, I said it was mostly important for him to keep up from now on, but that if he can go back and complete some of the missing assignments, I'll take them for up to 10 days. In a larger class, I'd be digging a hole for myself by agreeing to accept work so late, but there are so few students in the class, I'm treating it like I am Nature in Lit: I'll do what I can to keep them, as long as they're putting in at least a modicum of effort and have enough brain not to pull the rest of the class over a cliff.

Other than that, today was all about P&B business. I missed college-wide Assessment (I've missed more than I've attended), but I did get the last folder read (of the ones I'm responsible for mentoring anyway) and all three letters written. We went over the letters in the meeting today; I have a little revising to do but not much. I may do that next, just to get it out from under my feet.

As I was drafting this post, at that point I got distracted by a long detour through my faculty e-mail; thinking about stuff to get out from under my feet, I wondered if I'd remembered to let a student know that I sent the letter of recommendation she requested. (Yes.) Then Paul and I were talking about a resolution that will be coming up for the next Academic Senate meeting (Paul's a senator; I'm not, but the issue affects us all). Then I saw an e-mail containing information that needs to be reviewed before Thursday's department meeting. Then I saw a response from my final mentee about her folder, confirming a meeting on Thursday after the department meeting. Then I saw a message about two other meetings I needed to put on my calendar.

This is how it goes: one dog (me) trying to chase enormous herds of rabbits (things I have to do) through huge acres of underbrush (um, my mind?). No wonder I sometimes have to just sit still for a few minutes and stare off into space to figure out what the hell I was doing, or what I need to do next. Lists can only take me so far: they get so unwieldy after a while that they might as well say, "Do tasks a, b, c, and everything else."

It's all about the triage.

So, given my inability to focus with any depth at the moment, I think I will take care of some of the little bits instead of marking more journal/logs--and I'll figure out when to finish the marking some other time. Like, well, yes, tomorrow.

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