Sleepless on Long Island

Well, not quite sleepless, but close. I got maybe a little over three hours last night, and I've been surprisingly functional today given that fact.

I am, however, hitting the wall early. I started the promo letters and had all intentions of finishing them up tonight before heading home, but I just can't do it. I can't face the last four pieces of homework I need to do for tomorrow's class. I REALLY can't face the pile of reading journals that just came in (the revised first ones and the new ones from today)--yet I want to get those back to the students by Wednesday if at all possible. And my usual leisurely Tuesday morning has been gobbled up: I'm meeting with one of my promotion mentees at 10, I have a meeting at 11:30, P&B at 1, class at 2:30. But if I can get a decent night's sleep tonight, I might be able to get a good sustained run at it all tomorrow. I want to get the letters done before tomorrow's P&B (at least two of them if not all three); I'm sure I can get the last bits of homework marked, too--and the journals I can turn my attention to after class, in that wodge of time between end of class and my departure for dance. All else fails, I'll bail on Advisement on Wednesday and crank through the journals when I'd normally be there so I don't have to worry about even the occasional interruption.

Several things on the student front that I want to record. First, when I went in to Nature in Lit today, most of the students were there--but not one of them had done the reading. (I'm sorry, but the Super Bowl is not a viable excuse.) I made a joke about howling in anguish over that--but we simply did what we did the first week: I'd read a section while they followed along, then they'd take notes and annotate their texts, then we'd talk, then I'd read some more. I also got off on a few of my patented tangents--so easy to do with that class. And once we were in the reading, they were doing a good job. The student who had only been there once was back (the one who seemed to have a large chip on his shoulder)--and he seemed more alert and lively and less systemically pissed off. Wonder Student continues to be wonderful. One student stayed after class to see why she was getting B's on her journals; I tried to explain my comments more fully, and we'll see if she understands. What may be difficult is that she simply may not have an A quality mind (not everyone does)--but I don't want to frustrate her and lose her from the class. What to do? Do I lower my standards a little? Do I risk losing her? I may have to sit down and talk with her, because I really do not want her to abandon the class.

It was moderately busy in Advisement; that's the one place where I felt unduly stupid today. I couldn't remember how to find information; I didn't know the rules about simple things--like what it takes for a student to get readmitted (it's easy, if said student hasn't attended some other school in the meanwhile). I had to ask the professionals about every single person I saw, I think.

But Kayla told me she thought the 102 went well today; I'm glad she did, as I really couldn't tell. I did a lot more directing than I usually do (partly a function of having no patience because I'm tired, partly because the students really do painfully misread the story--Le Guin's "Ile Forest). A portion of the period was devoted to talking to them about writing, the various stages, how we'll work through their papers and the different versions. The students were somewhat repressed in their responses, both in groups and in the class as a whole; Kayla asked what accounted for that, and it's partly that it's early in the semester, partly that mysterious thing called class chemistry, and partly their insecurity over that particular story, which they find daunting.

The only real negative was that the student who showed up last week for the first time was back today--but hadn't picked up his reader, syllabus, nothing. I told him to go get it and he could stay; he'd only be marked late. But when he got back, he proceeded to sit like a catatonic in his group--not even asking questions and trying to participate, take notes, nothing. I called him out in the hall and was severe with him. I told him it was not at all a good sign that he hadn't taken any responsibility for being ready for class, and that he's running out of time to be ready for the paper. I further said that if he shows up to class on Wednesday without being fully prepared--story read, homework done, ready to participate fully in his group--he's gone. And I mean it. If he isn't ready to work, I'm throwing him out and telling him not to come back. He's just a huge fucking energy suck right now; I have rarely encountered a student who responds to what I say with less affect. He's utterly stone faced and minimally responsive, not saying anything beyond "yes" or--the longest sentence he's uttered yet--"what room is it in?" referring to my office. I'm sure there are deep and profound reasons why he is so shut down, so completely lacking in any signs of life, and if I knew those reasons, my heart might bleed. But I don't know the reasons, and he's not telling me anything, and he's dragging the rest of the class down, and I won't have it.

On a much more positive note, one student in that class was brave enough to admit to all of us that she'd seriously misread the story: one of the main characters commits a murder, so she assumed he was a bad guy, despite all the evidence to the contrary. (She also missed other subtle bits, like who was actually telling the story.) But she admitted to it, and I praised her for that, then used her as a teaching moment for everyone: you have to be willing to let go of a misinterpretation when you read closely and find the evidence that shows you had it wrong.

Kayla and I came back to the office; she photocopied the journals so she can take a look at them herself and offered help (which I don't feel right about accepting, but I'm grateful for the offer). We talked a little about whether and when to give the students a model essay to use as a guide or inspiration (answers: yes, and after they finish their in-class work-shopping of their own essays). A few other bits. And that was the day. I'm supposed to be here until 7 tonight, for my evening office hour, but I have no appointments so I'm going to split before my head does.

Please, God, I hope I sleep tonight!