Oy-oy-oy

I don't know how days get away from me like this. I was so sure I'd get all the assessment packets read tonight before I ran out of steam, but I still have one whole set to go. Dammit. I didn't quite get the journal-logs marked for 102--though only one student who was there didn't get his, because he had to leave early; the other unmarked sets were for students who didn't show up, so I got a reprieve on that. Advisement was a constant stream of students--and it's going to be like this for the rest of the semester, I'd guess. Students weren't in a holding pattern waiting for seats, like they were at the end of last semester, but still, the chairs were pretty well filled, and filling more as I left.

Today's Nature in Lit session was another with minimal attendance: two of the five. I got an e-mail over the weekend from one student who said he thought he should withdraw. Perhaps he should, but I want to try to keep him, as I think he's finally understanding what I want in terms of papers. He missed class today, not having gotten my e-mail encouraging him to talk to me before he decides to withdraw, but I'll welcome him back on Thursday. The young woman whose feathers were so ruffled on Thursday by the grades on her papers was conspicuously absent today. I'm supposed to meet with her tomorrow morning at 10: I sent an e-mail reminder, and I hope she shows. If we just talk a few times, I think she can get there.

This whole class is an interesting experience. In some ways, I'm letting go of standards left, right, and center, removing requirements from assignments (such as the research component from their second essays), dropping my draconian late assignment policies (turn it in whenever, just turn it in)--and yet I don't feel that squirmy sense of violating my principles that I feel at the prospect of similar adjustments in other circumstances. I honestly don't think my acceptance of my own laxity is a subconscious adjustment so I don't feel sick about what I'm doing to keep the students in the room. Rather, I think I'm realizing, more rationally, that a lot of my fierce policies arise from A) the need to keep the work flow under control so I don't get swamped and B) the desire to train students about academic culture (not to mention a modicum of adult responsibility). In this particular situation, the work flow is not a problem. (I mean, really, five students? Cinch.) And yes, it's true, the students are not anywhere near as responsible as they ought to be--and as they will have to be as life goes on--but they're responsible enough for here, now. I get idiotically stubborn about things and hold on to unnecessary requirements--for myself as well as for my students. I'm hoping this semester is a good experience in how much I can let go and still feel like I'm doing a good job.

The main thing is, they're learning. That's really all I want. They're learning.

The 102 class was in the library today, and apart from having to rather firmly tell two young men to focus on the class itself (rather than logging in to other sites because "I've had this [library] class twice before," or texting in the guise of "making sure I have this URL"), the class went well. No one asked any questions, but everyone seemed to be following along beautifully, and generally they said they were finding helpful sources. The librarian had put together an online guide specifically for my course, simplifying the students' work exponentially; I'm hoping that pays off. In any event, it was an easy time for me, as I sat in the back marking their assignments....

The main thing that's worrying me right now is the Chancellor's Award. I didn't work on it much this weekend (a mix of my own resistance and the need to visit a dear friend in the hospital), and now the week looks like could potentially silt up like mad. Shit. I probably will have to bail on Advisement on Wednesday. They'll be annoyed, but tough. I need the time, and I don't see another window for it, unless a miracle occurs tomorrow. We don't have P&B, which is a help--and I'm trying to persuade myself that students can live until next week without getting marked assignments back (journal-logs, papers, anything). But even so, what with student meetings and class and an evening event, I doubt tomorrow will be sufficient. But we'll see (as the mantra goes). If need be, I'll give myself a huge window on Wednesday, from early morning up to class--and after, if necessary.

I should head for the hills right now, try to get the evening wind-down started (always a protracted process for me: like a semi, it takes me a long time to gear up, but once I'm rolling full speed, it also takes me a long while to come to a stop. But I think I'll take a look at Paul's (huge and dauntingly complete and amazing) Chancellor's Award application so I have a sense of what to do next. Once I have some ideas to let percolate overnight, I'll be more ready to face the fucker, just do it and get it done. It is a snorting pain in the ass, but the bragging rights--and the line on the CV--will be worth it. And, should I get the award (which is statistically likely), I get a nifty medallion on a ribbon to wear with my academic regalia for the rest of forever. Cool beans.

And that's the positive spin for the day. Not at all a bad day, so no big spin required.