I got everything marked--before 8 p.m. tonight, which I take a victory. I'm utterly burnt to a crisp, but all the essays and piled up homework assignments for both sections of 102 have been marked.
And I don't know how to face the fact that next weekend, I'll be at it all over again, madly marking essays prior to students' conferences. Did I not look at a calendar when I made up the schedule? Or was I simply deluding myself about how many hours exist in a 24-hour day? Or both?
I really, really, really need to rethink this for the spring, or I will lose my mind.
Now, however, I will celebrate this momentary triumph over tsunamis of student work (most of it marginally to entirely crappy) and be a student for a little bit. I can't remember the last time I practiced the violin, and that particular form of challenge seems like a good shift of mental gears--assuming it does not come (as it sometimes does) with a few splashes of self-loathing and frustration.
But even if it does, I don't have to be the teacher. I can be the sucky student for a change.
Frustrated and bitter? Oh, just around the edges, now and then. I know there are many blessings to remember as well--I just don't feel like trying to play Pollyanna and dredge them up at the moment.
And we'll see how the morrow goes...
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