"You look into things super deep"

One student in today's 101 made that comment about how I see things, in contrast to the very superficial view of things that students tend to have. Well, yes, I said: This is how an educated adult thinks. You haven't been trained in this yet, but that's what I'm doing.

Interesting moment. And today was a better class than usual. I'm not getting my hopes up, but was glad to have the experience.

I also spent a long time--over an hour--talking with a young woman who actually was only briefly my student: she was in last semester's SF class for a few weeks, then dropped. I may have mentioned her before: she ended up seeing me in Advisement--in part because she was dropping her literature course again. Turns out, bright as she is, she has serious anxiety issues about writing papers. We got to talking about her career aspirations, and her fears ... and her fears go very, very deep. She's had some traumas in her life, and today, she wanted to talk about the fact that one of those traumas caused her to get extremely low grades at the first college she went to--and those grades are now preventing her from getting into the nursing programs she wants to get into. It ended up being more like a therapy session--or at least life coaching--and I am trying to persuade her that her previous dreadful experiences with therapists is not indicative of what therapy actually can and should be like. She really needs that deeper support, someone with the knowledge and skill to help her unravel a huge tangle of negative thought patterns.

I was glad to be able to devote the hour or so to her, as I love working with students on that personal level--but when I just came back up to the office after my "babysitting" stint this evening, I uncovered another stack of stuff for the M/W class--and even bailing on Advisement tomorrow, which I absolutely must do, I do not see how I can possibly get it all even looked at before class on Wednesday. And then I have a stack, not quite as large, of stuff for the T/Th class--and again, when can I possibly get it done? I may have to bail on P&B again. I should bail on Wednesday night's steak dinner with Paul, William, Kristin, and Cathy--but I am going to have my steak, god dammit. I don't know how I'll manage but somehow I'll manage.

It would certainly help if I could sleep. I've had trouble with insomnia for the last two nights, and I'm so manic about getting all this done, I wouldn't be surprised if I struggle with it again tonight. Fuck.

But ah well. As I said, somehow, I'll manage. Somehow, sleep or no sleep, bailing on meetings and Advisement and whatever else, I'll get it done. Or I'll apologize profusely and leave it all on the office door for them to pick up. Which they won't, but that's their too bad, not mine. There is always a way.

For now, I need to pull myself together and get out of here. I've moved my usual Wednesday appointment to tonight, so no burning late this evening. I wish I'd canceled the appointment, but I didn't, so, well, off I go.