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Thursday, March 26, 2015

Packing it in

I've hardly worked at all today, but I'm in some sort of mood that I can't quite identify, so I can't seem to figure out what to do or how or where... so I'm packing it in for the day. I can't even figure out if I want to take care of some life maintenance or if this is a hide-under-the-sofa day, but it's feeling rather like the latter option is going to win. I'm not sure if this resistance is because working on the socio-historical section is making me feel stupid (history is complicated, folks, especially trying to explain the Cold War and Vietnam to students who don't really believe that anything that happened prior to 1990 matters)--or if there is some other resistance going on, but I feel as if I've fought as much as I can for one day.

But I will say--may have said, will probably say again--that one of the unexpected blessings of this sabbatical time is the ability to spend some time with myself, being introspective, in ways that I usually can't (or, maybe more accurately, don't). Work is a wonderful narcotic: it's very handy to be able to say to any personal issue that's begging for attention, "Oh, I can't deal with that now: I have to..." do committee work, grade papers, create/adjust assignments, anything but sit quietly and listen to my inner workings. It is interesting to go this long without that particular drug; maybe I'm going through withdrawal?

Anyway, that's the best I've got for today. We'll see how that wonderful thing called "tomorrow" goes.

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