Today wasn't a bad day, exactly. I just got a late start because I was futzing around with life-maintenance stuff and campus stuff, so I only got about two and a half hours of work in at the coffee cafe and was already brushing up against the wall. After walking home from the coffee place, it's quite clear that I have no more work in me for today. Yesterday I didn't work at all: I was headachy and tired all day, so I spent much of the day on the sofa, reading popcorn novels and, I confess, taking a monster nap. (Actually, that was also part of today's late start: I napped late, so I didn't get to sleep until the wee hours of the morning, slept late to compensate: the disrupted sleep pattern domino effect.)
Even when I was at the coffee cafe, I spent the first bit of my time there working on my biennial "year end evaluation" form. This is a contractual requirement. Non-tenured faculty have to do one every year, in addition to providing a Professional Development Plan (a five-year plan: one of our interviewees last summer was very funny when we asked him about his five-year plan: "I'm going to collectivize the farms: it'll work this time..."). Those of us who are tenured just have to demonstrate that we're being professionally active, and every other year, we have to fill in the stupid form. (I am aware that a number of my readers know all too well what I'm talking about; bear with me while I explain to those who don't.) The main thing is that we have to demonstrate that we've been to at least two "professional development" events each year--another contractual mandate. Most of us have done more than that, but being on P&B, I've seen some people try to say that attending a play or watching a movie is "professional development." William was rather funny about that, when we tried to explain why merely attending a performance would not count but attending a lecture about a performance would: he said, "So the real issue seems to be whether you enjoyed yourself or not."
Enjoyment (or lack thereof) aside, essentially all I had to do was raid portions of my promotion application--but doing that set off all my fears about my chances at promotion. Again. Walking home, I was thinking, "I'm sure I won't get it. There's no way I'll get it. I haven't done enough." Cue the sad orchestral music and a close-up shot of me brushing away a tear, then putting on a face of courage and determination....
Oh, not really, but I am nervous about the wretched promotion, and this year-end evaluation process just brings that all up to the surface. Damn and blast and hell.
On a completely different note, as I'm working on the "socio-historical context" chapter, I find I keep adding notes to myself: "look this up"; "check this"; "find out more." In some cases I probably don't need to find more, but I'd rather do too much and have to dial back than to find myself in the position of having to stretch something out.
Nothing else of note for the day. Tomorrow will be whatever tomorrow is (apart from being another day and all that).