Oh, Arrrgggghhhhh

Ok, OK, I do it to myself, and I do it repeatedly. I don't know precisely how I frittered away the weekend, but I didn't do the assignment marking I kept telling everyone (including myself) that I was going to do, and now I've buryed myself in stuff that I have to get marked and back to the students. As I've said before, the stupid thing is that if I didn't assign it, I wouldn't have to mark it--and as some of my colleagues know, I tend to mark just a little obsessively. (Me? Obsessive, especially about having something to say in writing? Heavens no, what could give one that idea.) I did a reasonable whallop today (got a lot done at the laundromat, as I often do) but I still have a small mountain of reading journals in particular that need to get back to the students so they have some feedback about how to do better on the next ones. Of course, only a small handful pay any attention to my comments, but I don't know this early which handful that will be. (Once I do, I stop giving feedback to the ones who clearly don't give a rat's petite patoot.)

But the upshoot (as students would say) is that I've screwed myself out of an evening with colleagues tomorrow. One colleague invited me to join her and two others for a dance concert in Manhattan. I am utterly, totally terrible about saying "yes" to invitations of this sort, even though I enjoy going once I can force myself to accept. My rut (trench, ravine, canyon) is very compelling to me--and I can always find reasons why going is a problem (the late night, the train ride, the dealing with celiac-friendly food, blah blah blah). But this time I said yes before all my glitches could get in my way, only to have to cancel out at the last minute so I can stay at the office until gawd knows when tomorrow getting things marked for Wednesday.

I know perfectly well that I do this to myself. A lot. And part of my delusion is that I keep thinking I won't do it to myself. Consequently, I empathize profoundly with my students' procrastination and the fact that they get caught in the same bind. I talk to them about it, in fact. I try to be transparent about why I do things the way I do, what the point is, and why it's supposed to work (and I'll confess when it doesn't)--and I want them to see that we all go through the same struggles in one way or another, so they are not alone in their anguish. But the point is, I realize I have to work on making some kind of adjustment to accommodate the fact that I behave this way, because clearly, at my age, it ain't gonna change.

Quick note: student who joined 229 late did pick up his stuff prior to class today (when I went in this morning it was gone), and although he was late for class, he was there. Hope springs eternal. We just watched a video about the Ghost Dance today (necessary historical background), so we'll see if he's ready with a reading journal on Wednesday. And on the other good news front, all but one student in 101 was ready with a reading journal in class today. Hooray! A Triumph! Let's not discuss the fact that only 3 had their required dictionaries....

I was going to say something else, but it's slipped my mind. (As Steve Martin said in one of his comedy routines, "Oh, I remember, I'm radioactive." No, that wasn't it.) I'm very tired, I haven't eaten yet, and so I'm only going to read this over incredibly quickly and then post it: forgive me my grammar, spelling and punctuation transgressions.