Ah, hell

I am already so far behind in getting logs and stuff back to students that I feel like I might as well just go home, pull the covers over my head, and not come out until June. I was certain that tonight, before I left, I'd at least finish the logs that I didn't return to the later section of 102 today (I managed to get them done for the first section but not the second). But then I had copies I had to make for my meeting tomorrow, and for class tomorrow, and some little bits that I felt I had to take care of right then, before they dropped through the floorboards--and then I realized I have a set of logs and study questions for the Native American Lit students, which I need to get back to them, and here it is, after 7, and I haven't touched the 102 homework. Which wouldn't be such a disaster, except tomorrow is going to be a hell of a day: doctor's appointment, meeting, P&B, class, physical therapy, back to back to back, no time to mark doodly squat. Wednesday, I have an appointment before Advisement, too--and today demonstrated that I can't get two sections worth of logs marked in my time in Advisement.

The upshot is, god dammit, that I'm going to have to take work home with me tomorrow and try to get something done after physical therapy--even though I'll be exhausted and ready to just curl up and go into a vegetative state.

Which is precisely how I felt leaving class today, so the fact that I managed to get done even the bits I did is rather miraculous. I really can't wait until my energy levels start to return to something approaching normal.

It's telling, in fact, that I was so exhausted when I'd actually had a great class. The earlier section of 102 was a disappointment: not only were quite a few students absent, but of those who were there, only 9 had their logs. Had a pretty good class with those 9, but even so, it was dispiriting. Funny, I was remembering them as being very dull, but as I think about it more, I realize no: they actually were relatively lively, joking and participating nicely in the conversation. Just the lack of bodies in the room made the energy feel sort of low--particularly in comparison to the later section. Only three students were unprepared (and two of them were unprepared because they just read what was next in the reader instead of following my assignment schedule), and the rest were ready to have a good conversation. Not only was the talk lively, but they were laughing and teasing and being very smart. (Well, most of them: a few are pretty lumpy, but the rest make up for it.) I told them at the end that I'd had my doubts about them at the beginning but that they were great, did terrific work, were a blast.... I'm always happy when I can say that and mean it.

Shifting gears abruptly: I don't know what I'm going to do about P&B. I got the report from two of my colleagues that, when I left the meeting half-way through last week, Bruce had suggested that someone else do an observation I'm supposed to conduct, as a way to help take some of the pressure off me. Honestly, that's insignificant, compared to having to mentor those applications through the last bit of the process. I've gotten questions from all three of my mentees, and my answer has been pretty much, "Uh, uh, I don't know." I am supposed to write the letters in support of their applications (and check their personnel files), and that seems fucking overwhelming right now. And I really need to do it this week: when???

Ah, hell, I don't know. I'm going to go home and try to go to sleep early (yeah, right) and hope that by tomorrow I have a workable plan B--even if it's just apologizing and letting the students know I'm not going to comment at all on their homework, just slap a grade on it and return it. I hate to do that at the start of the semester, when some guidance can make a difference, but it may be the only way to get through this week without beating myself to a pulp.

But one never knows. Sometimes a wonderful solution will present itself all unexpected like. Here's hoping.