Lord love a duck

That has become one of my favorite expressions of dismay. I haven't yet found opportunities to use "Oh, my giddy aunt," though I love that one, too. I also don't know why, in moments of fatigue and concern, one would petition the almighty to show affection for a form taxon of the Anatidae family, but it works well as an expression heaved with a sigh. Try it: big, deep breath, then on a falling note, "Lord love a duck."

(And yes, I looked up that whole "form taxon" "Anatidae family" thing. I had no idea that there was more than one genus for ducks, not to mention multiple species. Anatidae include geese and swans, which are patently not ducks, so the catch-all "duck" refers to the various forms of waterfowl within that scientific family--a "taxon" is simply a group of similar organisms--that are identifiably ducks. Which is neither here nor there. Ducks are everywhere. Oh stop.)

I just had to do some significant juggling of assignments for 229. Because I'd postponed the second mini-paper, without some shuffling of assignments, students weren't going to get it back before their first big papers were due--and the whole point of mini-papers is that they feed into the big papers. But moving the first big paper meant shifting other reading/writing assignments so the students have something to do for each class but are only moderately overwhelmed, not completely hammered (though they may say the reorganization didn't solve that problem). I think it will work, but I'm so addled that I'm sure either a student will point out a howling blunder, or at some point I'll see one on my own. As it is, the assignment for Tuesday is not placed ideally: students are going to have to read the poems for Thursday early in order to answer the study questions due Tuesday, and Thursday's assigned readings are contemporary poems, which rather fucks up the plan of having students read traditional stuff first, but oh well. Somehow I think we'll survive with minimal scarring.

About half the class was missing today--very likely because the second mini-paper was due. And a few haven't been around to collect their first mini-papers, so who knows what the prognosis is for their success.

But I did have two good conversations with students from that class during my office hour today. One student was in one of my comp classes a few semesters ago (I can't remember when). He's smart enough and likes the material (and, very flattering, took the class specifically because I'm teaching it)--but he hasn't turned in a single assignment so far. I encouraged him to get on track starting now, not worry about what he's missed. It's more important that he keep up; otherwise he's likely to fall further and further behind, trying to make up old assignments. I told him we'd keep tabs on how he's doing: I want him to have every chance to succeed, but he is in pretty serious trouble. He's one of those students who seems to find it almost impossible to actually do the work. He doesn't have any quarrel with the work itself, but he is among a population of students who can't seem to do whatever is required to get the work done. I don't see any common ground among those students: it's not socio-economic, or a matter of gender or age. I don't know enough about their educational experiences to know if there is some common denominator there. But it's frustrating--to them, as well as to me. I wish I could figure out what it is that stymies their ability to succeed so I could offer help, but I'm at a loss. I truly hope he pulls it together, but I'm not sanguine about the possibilities. It would be a relief for both of us if he does, though, so I'll keep at least a flicker of hope burning.

The other student is a young woman who came me after class several weeks ago to tell me that she's struggling and needed help. Today, she walked in my office door with the withdrawal slip in hand--but I talked her into thinking about it further before she decides. She needs to get a B in order to keep her scholarship to the four-year institution she's going to next, and in my class she hadn't earned anything better than a C+--until the batch of assignments I was about to return. When I showed her that in fact her hard work was paying off, that she was starting to get B's, she started to reconsider. I promised her I won't sabotage her scholarship, but I pointed out that the deadline for withdrawal isn't until mid-April--and that I think she can get a lot out of the class if she stays. She said she already is getting a lot out of it, that she finds my comments very helpful (and she's able to use them to improve her work, which is laudable; I told her so). She'd been so sure she was going to withdraw that she'd arranged to go to work instead of coming to class, but today's absence won't be a problem. I told her to take the day off from class to think things over. She does have a lot on her plate--and she admits to being someone who gets very anxious easily (hoo-boy, I know  about that)--so I told her if she ultimately feels that something needs to go in order to keep her stress levels manageable, and if she decides my class is what needs to go, I'll respect that decision. But I hope she stays. She could be a real success story, if she can pull it out.

I'd vaguely hoped I'd have it in me to at least look at a few of the final versions for the 102 classes tonight, but it's not going to happen (and who was I trying to fool, hoping that it might?). I will take them home for the weekend, and maybe--maybe--I'll crank through some before Monday. It would be good to get those out from underfoot before the accumulation of other assignments starts to overwhelm me like kudzu, but my energy levels are proving very slow to return to normal, and my desire to treat myself as if I am very fragile is powerful, so it's difficult to do the things I know, intellectually, will make me feel better when I also know that doing them will not be a delicious experience. That whole "do it, get it over with, and have fun later" mentality has always been a problem for me. I want to have fun now. (Is it happy hour?) But if the inspiration to work suddenly strikes, I can't be a good Do-Bee if the papers aren't with me to work on, so I'll schlep them home and hope that I am overtaken by a fit of self-discipline sometime in the next three days.

Speaking of schlepping things home, it's now time for me to make sure I've got everything on my desk in the appropriate stack with the most combustible material on top (to prevent things from going up in metaphoric flames), and then, dear readers, I am getting the flock out of here (to finish with another duck metaphor). Wigeons away!