I'd have sworn I had a brain around here somewhere...

I truly feel as if I can't locate my brain--or at least any of the parts of it that are required for keeping track of what I have where, remembering what I'm supposed to do, figuring out what needs to be done and when ... essentially, doing my job. It's really getting annoying. Today I did manage to remember when I was supposed to be in Advisement--but I got there and, looking in the wheelie pack, thought, "Shit: I left all the work for the 101 I teach today in the office." So, I trundled back to the office and gathered up the stack of student work sitting on my desk. Walking back to Advisement, I glanced at the first piece of work on the stack and saw the name of a student who is in the T/Th 101. (Remember, today was, as far as NCC is concerned, a Monday, so that's the class I had to be ready for.) Whut??? Gradually, it dawned on me: I had glanced inside the pack and--seeing a bunch of papers in two different binder clips, I thought that was the stuff for the T/Th 101, which I haven't piled all together yet. No: one clip held the work I'd already graded for today's class; the other held the stuff yet to be marked.

Fuck me blind. Ah well.

I was also a trifle annoyed that I seemed to be the only person taking students to advise. I know that wasn't entirely true, but I certainly took more than my share--and I really, really, really wanted every minute to mark student stuff. Still, I managed to knock off the last of the unmarked stuff for today's class while the students were working in the library. I did have to bark at two students who decided that this would be the perfect time to get on their phones and screw around--and then I barked at the whole class about the "no cell phones" policy--but for the most part, they were working pretty diligently, and they asked some good questions. I'm starting to feel as if that class might be OK after all--but it's still early days. One never knows.

In the "more good news" department, the student who was in class today for the first time may indeed be the one to break the trend of students begging to be let in class and then bombing anyway. He showed up with two articles read, annotated, and expanded notes completed. And the work was good, too. I think he may be able to get himself dialed in pretty rapidly and do well--if he continues on his current trajectory. That would be really cool; I'd love to have a student finally pull it off.

Shifting gears: even though today followed a Monday schedule, we had a P&B meeting at our usual time. One member of the committee couldn't be there, as she had class, but we were able to do the meeting anyway. We were in the process of dividing up who was mentoring whom, and I was asked if I'd take on one of the "problem children." I said, "Having very fucking reluctantly agreed to be recording secretary, I am not mentoring anyone I don't have to." Or words to that effect. As it happens, I have to do one observation (heavy sigh; it will mean yet another chunk of advisement time I'll have to make up at some point) and mentor one colleague for promotion--at least this semester. (Her application doesn't have to be complete until spring, but someone will have to take over for me at that point.) That's not too onerous. Of course, I'll also have to read through all the applications for promotion and sabbatical and provide feedback, but ... I may do a relatively slipshod job of that. I'm also doing the approval of travel-funds requests, and someone else is going to have to learn how to do that and take over.

Today's meeting was one of those in which poor Cathy is pretty much conveying information designed to either piss us off or make us despair--or both. We essentially came to the conclusion that there is no nefarious plan in place to deep six the campus, just rampant incompetence: the Peter Principle in action. And how. Not that that makes anything any better, but at least we don't have to feel like we're being targeted for something dire. I got word that "next year" the plan is for the gutting of one of the buildings that we've been forced to use for our classrooms (despite it being a building specifically designed for science classes). However, there is no indication that the building that we used to use and which has been closed for over a year now will be finished and ready for us to use. You might reasonably ask where we will be holding our classes, since we already don't have enough rooms. (My own 102 was opened without having any classroom space in which to hold it; it was only by making use of computer lab space that we were able to find a place for it.)  There is, of course, no plan in place to make sure there are enough classrooms. My poor colleagues may be teaching in hallways and bathrooms at this rate. With or without mold, falling ceiling tiles, working HVAC, or invasions of bees (all of which have been problems we've been facing, among others. Don't ask about the "exploding" toilet.)

Backing up: this morning, when the alarm went off, I thought, "I simply cannot get up yet. I have to let myself sleep in." So, I turned off the alarm and got back in bed. Thirty-five minutes later, my eyes popped open and I thought, "I will not be able to sleep if I keep waking up to fret about the fact that I am supposed to be in Advisement, have stuff to mark." I truncated parts of my morning routine and was happy to note that I was pretty much back on track for being on time--and then I made the mistake of opening my work email. Long story, about communications with a faculty member whose irate student showed up in the office last night, but drafting a reply to her reply to me took longer than it should have. So, I had to inform Advisement that I'd at very least be late. I told them I'd make up the time by staying late tomorrow--but, duh, I won't be in tomorrow at all and campus will be closed. Next week. But ... I really, truly hope I can not only sleep late tomorrow but maybe also get a nap. Yes, I have a ton of stuff to mark. And true, I won't have much time before class on Thursday, as we have a department meeting (and I'll still be the good colleague for most of the semester and go to department meetings, even though I may not stay until the bitter end). And yes, I am already packing it in for tonight, even though I "should" (perhaps) keep working a little longer, reduce the "to be marked" stack as much as possible. But sleep is becoming increasingly urgent a need.

My "carry work home" tote bag is already filled with everything I need to work at home tomorrow--and then some. Since I'm using my wheelie pack for all my classes this semester, I was able to combine the office supplies (pens, rulers, staplers, blah blah) from two tote bags into one: I used to have a bag to carry things to and from classes and a separate one for carrying things home, but now I just need the wheelie pack and a "carry home" bag. Even though I could fit everything in a tote, I opted to use the wheelie pack for everything because when I carried the tote, my back and hip complained. Saving wear and tear on my body being the primary reason for having a wheelie pack in the first place, I am making use of the damned thing. I still have to heft it up and down stairs here in Bradley (which has no elevator, being grandfathered in and therefore not having to comply with ADA requirements). And the fucker is heavy. But the rest of the way, I can wheel it, and that's a very good thing.

Another very good thing is just ... tomorrow. Not merely because it is (of course) another day but also because it is a day in which I do not have to get here to campus. That's a teeny tiny slice of heaven, right there. (Yep. Retirement was the right choice. I'm still scared shitless about the finances and emotionally rattled by the change in identity, but ... ship sinking, rat has her little suitcase packed.)