HUGE risk

I have seven essays to grade for Thursday.

If I get in at 9 a.m., I have two hours before my first conference appointment (best case scenario, that's four essays); I have 40 minutes between that appointment and the next one (best case scenario, one and the start on another). If I bail on Advisement, I have two hours there: and even if I miss the "best case scenario" in the other time blocks, I'm hoping like mad that the two-hour window will give me enough time to finish. I feel bad about missing advisement yet again--especially because now things are getting very busy--but I have to do what I have to do.

I got a slight bit of a reprieve when I realized I'd been counting one student who never submitted an essay (the one I handed a withdrawal form to last week). One of the essays should be pretty good; one should be good but somewhat uneven. Two will probably hit that awkward place between too bad to have anything to say and so good there isn't much to say. Three will probably be pretty bad. It's a terrible thing to say (I am going to burn in hell, I know), but I rather hope they're so bad I can knock them off in a huge hurry.

I also hate to say but I caught a break today when the last student scheduled missed her appointment. I am concerned about her--she's very good and very conscientious--but it was nice to have that chunk of time, particularly as the student before her showed up early (and my other appointments wrapped early), so I gained almost a full half hour. (In another minor triumph, I got all the homework for the 102 finished up while they were talking about the novel, so the stack of stuff has diminished slightly, even though I also collected more homework from them today.)

I'm a bit concerned about my ability to get up early enough to get here by 9 tomorrow--but if I don't, I can't see how I can get through everything. And in order to have any chance of getting in that early, I needed to be home an hour ago. I was tempted to leave, but I knew I truly had to get at least a few of the essays for Thursday marked tonight or I'd be completely, utterly screwed. And in the absolute worst-case scenario, I will have to finish up one or two when I get home after my usual Wednesday appointment (which has been canceled two weeks in a row, so I'm really not going to cancel again).

It's weird to admit, but lately, when I've said I "have" to get X or Z done, I've thought, "Well, if I were in the hospital I wouldn't, or if I had the flu." I'm not ill-wishing myself; I'm just reminding myself that there is always another option in the worst worst case.

But that worst worst case will not, I trust, occur. I'm going to have faith that I can somehow get through them all--and then take a deep breath before diving back down into the revisions for the 102 students and all the accumulated homework. Off I go, staggering into the night...